Kimprint: Kim's Story
by Julieanne-Arc
Summary: Kim had always wanted Jared, but forced herself to stop trying for a lost cause. With graduation and escape from La Push only weeks away, Jared finally wants to get to know her. But will imprinting be enough to make her stay?
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:** __Stephenie Meyer owns all recognizable background information and characters._

* * *

_**Kim:**_

The seconds ticked by on the big white clock at the front of the room. It felt as though I was the only one watching the time physically pass, everyone else was engaged in whispers of conversation as we waited for the teacher to arrive. _Fifty-seven minutes_. I was fifty-seven minutes and three weeks away from graduation. Then I could finally escape La Push. Not leave, but _escape._

Surrounded by classmates I'd known for the entirety of my life, I sat at my desk in the corner of the room, aching for the bell to just _ring_ already. How appropriate that I sat in the _corner_ of the class, like a fitting metaphor for the reality of my life. Never easily noticeable at the front, never at the centre of attention in the middle, never the kid at the back who others went out of their way to talk to; just the quiet girl in the corner who minds her own business.

Not that there was any business of mine everyone didn't know about already. That's what happens in a town this small, everyone knows everyone. _Well. _

The teacher finally shuffled into the class with a stack of paperwork in hand. Groans and sighs were let out around me as he began to distribute the pop quizzes, though I didn't really care. It didn't go unnoticed by me that the desk beside mine was once again vacant. It was the fourth day in a row Jared had been absent.

I couldn't lie to myself; a large part of my misery belonged to him. I'm pretty sure I was six years old when I fell in love with Jared. At six, it's adorable. At ten, it's sweet. At fourteen, it's a crush. At seventeen, it's _pathetic_. We'd known each other since we were _four. _Or at least, _I _had known _him_ since we were four. Some evil twist of fate had managed to make him the only person in this claustraphobic town who was completely oblivious to my existence. And it's not as though he had been _ignoring_ me for all these years, he had just never even_ noticed_ me.

_Why? _I used to ask myself. _How could he not know who I am? _I would internally cry out.

Those were the junior years - the years I didn't particularly like to think back to; the years where I still had _hope_. I would hold my breath every time he looked in my direction, anticipating the first words he would ever say to me. The words that would begin our story. But they never happened, he never spoke them. Then I tried to be more _strategic_ about it; maybe look a bit nicer one day, maybe walk past his locker another. It was hopeless, and got to the point of pitiful. I stopped with all that. Stopped with sketching our names in hearts and hoping for a miracle that wasn't going to happen.

I grew up and learned that life wasn't a fairytale. _Especially_ not mine. I forced myself to stop trying and focused all my effort into escaping to a far away college. The feelings were still there, _sure;_ but I had learned to control those desperate emotions with harsh doses of reality. I hoped to discover there was truth to the saying, '_out of sight, out of mind,' _when I would finally flee this town.

My mom understood. She had been there through all my childhood misery of unrequited love. She would tell me I deserved the world, and any boy who hadn't noticed me after all this time wasn't worth it.

"_One day, you'll find someone who will love you for you,"_ she'd say, in true motherly fashion.

It was true though. I shouldn't hold out for someone who didn't take the time to notice me. I wouldn't be one of those girls who compromised her personality for the attention of a _boy_. I wasn't beautiful, but I was smart and interesting. If he didn't appreciate this after all these years, then he wasn't worth it. That's what I would tell myself. That's the mantra my brain would recite to my heart when it started to cave in.

I felt a warm breeze pass the right side of my body. Perplexed, I looked up from my paper to find the seat to next me was now filled. There he was, and yet he seemed _different_? Taller? I caught the quickest glimpse of his eyes and I'd swear there was something different about them.

_Stop._

I cast my vision back down at my paper, not letting myself become curious. I jerked my emotions back into place while I ignored the natural quickening of my heartbeat and the butterflies that assaulted my stomach in his presence.

_Focus, Kim. Math._

I began to map out a diagram and then once again, checked the clock to make sure time was indeed passing and I wasn't getting jipped in my countdown to escape.

"_Can I borrow a pencil?_"

It was his voice.

_Wait… __what?_

He had talked to me.

_Jared_ had talked to me?

For the first time in a long time, I found myself wishing time would actually_ stop_.

Stop, rewind and replay.

His eyes grew wide, probably mirroring my own. My heart went erratic and I swear I could hear it beating in my ears. My breath caught in my throat and my stomach began to knot. My emotions began creeping back up, but I broke eye contact and abruptly forced the feelings back down.

_No, Kim. Don't try._

I rolled the pencil across the desk, where he reached over to pick it up. I could feel his eyes still watching me.

_Why? What is he looking at?_

I began to feel self-conscious and couldn't make myself concentrate. I didn't let my vision slip anywhere off my desk for the hour. This was bad, very bad. The last thing I needed was to get my hopes up - three weeks before fleeing - over a borrowed pencil. I barely knew what I was writing for the rest of that class. I filled in the blank spaces, but with what, I couldn't tell you. My heart didn't give out; it kept beating just as fast and strong. I knew I had to get out of there before my emotions would overcome me and I would slip back into lovesick-teenager mode.

The bell – my saviour – finally rang, and I was up and out of the class in four short strides.

Four strides and three weeks closer to my escape from La Push.

"_Kim, wait!_"


	2. Chapter 2: Jared

_**Jared:**_

I staggered into the class, unconcerned with my lateness—I had other things to worry about these days. Trying not to be late for school wasn't one of them. Trying not to freakin' _explode_ in school, however… My muscles were still aching and my mind was exhausted. It goes from being blaringly _loud_ to eerily silent in one phasing moment. Hearing and feeling everyone's thoughts one second, then suddenly feeling nothing the next was making me dizzy. On top of that, battling vampires was getting down-right tiring. For a creature that's meant to have super-strength, I was in an awful lot of pain right now. I wondered if I would ever appreciate being a werewolf…

I took my seat and tilted my head back, resting my eyes. It was finally quiet in my mind, and I momentarily revelled in this until I noticed it was also extremely quiet in the classroom. I opened my eyes and looked around. Everyone had their heads down, scribbling away on sheets of paper. I looked down at the desk in front of me: pop quiz. I wanted to roll my eyes. _Of all the days to return… _I hadn't even brought a pencil.

Not wanting to make a scene and leave to go to my locker, I turned to the person next to me.

She was sketching out a diagram, concentrating hard on her test. I hadn't remembered seeing her before, but from what I could see she was kind of pretty. _Really_ pretty. I peered at the name written at the top of her paper; _Kim. _Suddenly curious, I sat staring at Kim for another moment until I heard the teacher clear his throat, looking at me expectantly.

_Woops. Pencil, right._

I leaned over towards her.

"_Can I borrow a pencil?_"

I saw her frame stiffen, though she didn't look at me yet. She seemed hesitant, maybe scared to communicate during a test? Maybe just shy? I kept my eyes on her, almost willing her to just acknowledge me already. I didn't recognize her and just wanted a proper glimpse at her face.

Finally, she looked up and I

_WHOA._


	3. Chapter 3

.._"__Kim, wait!_"

* * *

_**Kim:**_

I slowed to a stop, but didn't turn around just yet. I knew I heard my name, but could it really have been the voice I thought it was? I had committed his voice to memory long ago, but had never heard him actually say my name before. I didn't even realize he _knew_ my name. No, this wasn't happening. I motioned to keep walking and then I heard it again.

"_Kim._"

I turned around to face who I was almost certain was calling me, but had to _see_ it to really believe it.

"_Wait_," he called again, as he was approaching. "Where are you going?"

I furrowed my brow, confused by his question. It was the end of the day, where else would I be going?

"Home?" I answered, mentally recognizing that as the first word I had ever spoken to him.

He didn't speak right away; clear indecision on his face. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be waiting for him to say something back, or if that was the end of our conversation.

"Can I give you a ride or something?" he finally asked.

_What?_

I was completely stunned, and almost afraid to respond. Apart of me was dying to smile like an idiot and release the elation I felt in that second, but another part was in shock, and skeptical of whether he was actually being serious.

"Why?" I replied, not yet answering his offer.

He looked cautious, like he was afraid his words would hurt me. Which is exactly what they had the potential to do.

"We don't… really know each other–" he stammered.

I still didn't speak. This information was not new to me.

"I just… want to get to know you a bit better."

There were so many things wrong with this scenario and those words. Why was he doing this? Did he seem _nervous?_ It all didn't make sense.

But I was curious.

As long as I could suppress becoming _hopeful, _then satisfying my curiosity might be alright.

…That's what I told myself anyway.

"Okay," I answered, after this internal deliberation.

He smiled and came forward to close the gap between us. There was a brief moment where he just stopped to look at me, as if he were reading something in my eyes. I couldn't name the emotion I saw on his face at that moment; no one had ever looked at me that way before, but it made me feel _exposed_ for some reason. It was like he was looking right through me. I didn't flinch right away though, I felt like I was looking for something in his eyes too. I thought there was something _different_ about them, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

I broke eye contact and pulled my books closer to my chest when I couldn't handle being caught in his gaze anymore. It was softening my insides and I was losing my grip on reality a little. This pulled him out of the moment too, and he began to walk beside me, towards the car park. We reached his car, and at first, I was confused as to why he walked around to my side – then he opened the door for me. I felt the butterflies resurface, but still had reservations about the whole situation itself. Jared had always had a kindness to him… just never directed at me. And now that it was, it was hard to believe he wasn't being genuine. His face was so honest. But it just didn't make sense.

My mom's words replayed in my mind, reinforcing my hold on reality. _He's not worth it. _I would always agree with her, but had never imagined I would be in a situation where I could actually decide if he truly was worth my time or not.

He asked me questions almost the whole way home, most of which were pretty basic. I supposed since he really didn't know anything about me, they could only be expected. I didn't really get the chance to ask him anything in return – not that there was anything I didn't know already. It wasn't like I was a stalker, just in a school as close-knit as ours, it was impossible not to hear everyone's business.

Impossible, yet he had still managed to avoid noticing me until now. Until three weeks and _fifty-something minutes_ before graduation.

Silence filled the car as he caught me in another one of his bizarre gazes. It made me feel self-conscious, and I instinctively cast my vision down at my hands. He eventually stopped staring, and focused on the road again when he spoke.

"So, what do you plan to do after school finishes?"

_After school? Oh, right._

"Um…_ college._"

I sounded sad. Why was I sad? I had been aching for college for as long I could remember, and now I spoke of it like I was disappointed? I didn't want to think about it now. I was making myself angry at the pathetic realization I had let a bit of _hope_ slip through my carefully built barriers of _reality._ Like somehow, this single car ride home was going to change my future.

He nodded, though his expression was blank. He seemed to be thinking about something else.

"What about you?" I asked, surprised to realize I actually didn't know.

"Um… I'll probably stick around here and… keep working."

"Where do you work?" I asked, again surprised to realize I didn't know this either.

His eyes tightened slightly. "I work as… patrol, on the rez."

"Like security patrol?" I pressed, intrigued.

"Yeah… _sort of_. Why?"

_Security. __In La Push. Danger. In La Push?_

I was smiling to myself at this, and he looked curious at my reaction. "Kim?"

"Why does the rez need patrolling?" I asked incredulously.

"Hey, there _are_ dangers out there. You never know," he responded, coyly.

"Like _what_?"

I couldn't imagine any kind of dangers in La Push that would actually require _security._

"Like… trouble_. I don't know._ Like bad guys. And… dangerous wild animals."

I had to stop myself from laughing out loud. _Bad guys. _He made it sound like La Push was some kind of story book, with heroes and villains.

_Did he say __dangerous wild animals? What kind_–

"Oh, like the wolves?" I concluded aloud.

His eyes widened, and there was a tinge of hysteria in his voice when he spoke.

"_What?_"

I was taken back by his reaction and didn't answer right away.

"What do you mean, what?" I asked hesitantly, confused at his intensity.

"Did you say _wolves?"_

"_Oh_. Yeah. There are wolves on the rez. I see them sometimes," I told him honestly.

_"You do?_" He seemed genuinely shocked at this, which surprised me. What was the big deal?

"Yeah…" I responded, still unsure of his reaction. "You haven't seen them?"

He shook his head, silently, looking out his window.

"You must not be very good at your job then," I teased.

He smiled and loosened up his tense expression, but didn't counter my little insult.

The car slowed as we approached the entrance to my street.

"_This_ is where you live?" he asked.

"Yes… why?"

"I just never realized you lived… this close to the forest_,_" he said, eyeing the trees neighbouring my house.

"_Oh_." I didn't say much more, failing to see how that was relevant.

"You should… stay out of the forest, Kim," he cautioned uneasily.

It made me smile a little that he actually cared enough to warn me. "Okay, security man," I said with an added salute.

"I'm serious, Kim. The forest is dangerous."

Again with the danger. How ironic; danger in La Push. And near _my_ house of all places.

"Not this forest," I told him, "Nothing scary around here. Trust me."

"You just said you've seen _wolves_ around?"

"Yeah, but they never do anything. I don't think they're harmful. Just kind of annoying when they're howling and stuff."

He looked baffled, like he was waiting for me to elaborate further.

"_What?_" I asked, when his reaction made me feel awkward, yet again.

He winced slightly, before he replied. "…Nothing."

We came to a stop at the foot of my driveway, and then he felt the need to reinforce his warning one more time.

"Seriously, Kim. _Please_ stay out of the forest, okay? You don't know what's out there."

"I think I saw a naked man running through there once?" I blurted out, thoughtlessly.

"_Huh?_" His expression was serious, like he was in shock.

_Nice one, Kim._

I was embarrassed at what I had just admitted, but figured since he was security, it might be information worth passing on.

"Yeah… This big, dark muscley man running _really_ fast. Only for a split second though, then he disappeared into the trees."

He rolled his eyes, and shook his head.

Did he think I was lying?

"Do you not believe me?" I asked, a little offended.

Why the hell would I make something like that up?

"Oh, _I believe you,_" he responded, then shook his head again.

It went quiet. I didn't know how to respond.

…_Awkward._

"Well… thanks for the ride," I finally said, as I carefully climbed out of the car.

I shut the door behind me and walked towards my house when I heard him call out again.

"_Kim?_"

I reluctantly turned to face him. "Yes?"

"Can I pick you up tomorrow for school again?"

_Oh, crap._

If I had any chance at suppressing becoming hopeful, it was shrinking by the second. But this wasn't even me _letting_ myself become hopeful anymore, it was Jared _giving_ me something to become hopeful for.

And with that realization, I let a _teensy_ bit of that suppressed hope free itself.

"_Okay._"


	4. Chapter 4

I almost ran the distance into my house, knowing at any second I would _combust_ with emotions. I slammed the door behind me and peeked through the window to watch him drive away. I felt as though I needed to actually _see_ the car drive away to be sure the afternoon really had happened.

And the car was there, turning out of my street. Meaning Jared really _had_ given me a lift home. Jared really _had_ talked to me and told me he wanted to get to know me. Jared _would_ be here to pick me up tomorrow morning.

_Wow_…

I leaned my head against the door letting it all sink in, until my mom's voice pulled me from my reverie.

"You're in a good mood," she remarked curiously.

I hadn't even realized she was home. Or that I was smiling. The feelings I had been desperately trying to deny had crept up on me, and were threatening to send me back to familiar love-driven territory.

"Yeah," I squeaked.

"Any reason?"

I cleared my throat, and regained control of my voice.

"Not really," I responded with a shrug.

She seemed a little puzzled, but didn't press for more. I'm sure she knew something was up, as there usually weren't any secrets between us. But she'd always been proud of the way I handled my stupid crush, accepting he wasn't worth it for not noticing me. She would only be disappointed now, to find I had let my hopes get the better of me in a single car ride home.

--

I awoke the next morning already feeling the butterflies in anticipation of his arrival. I found myself repeatedly checking through the window, terrified at the idea of his car being there, but equally terrified that his car would just never turn up.

I was tempted to do something nice with my hair while I waited, but my mind voted against that idea. It was bad enough I was letting myself get excited over his attention, but _changing_ who I was for his benefit was a whole new level of pathetic I didn't want to reach. _I'm better than that, _I reminded myself. I would never be the girl that changed who she was. I was smart and interesting. _Smart and interesting_, I chanted in my mind, trying to build some confidence.

There was a soft knock at the front door, and I stopped on the bottom step just staring at it. It took a moment for me to compose myself, until I found the guts to finally pull the door open. And sure enough, there he was. He looked different today, _again_. His hair looked… done? Almost as if he had put extra effort into his appearance. Somehow, he looked even better than he usually did. I wouldn't have thought that was even possible. He smiled when he saw me, and let out a sigh of… relief? I was confused by this and just stood there, blankly contemplating for a moment, forgetting the courteous – and _normal_ – thing to do would be to greet him. Or at least–

_Say something_…

_Anything._

…

_ANY. THING. KIM. TALK. NOW.  
_

But I just couldn't get my mouth to work.

He smirked at my embarrassing silence, and spoke first.

"Hey."

"Um… hi," I finally greeted, inwardly kicking myself as we walked to his car.

"Sleep well?" he asked, after climbing into the driver's seat.

"Yes," I lied.

I had tossed and turned all night, while my emotions warred with themselves. Half of me excited and overcome with hope, and the other half trying to stuff that excitement right back to where it came from.

"Did you?" I asked, to be courteous.

He smiled to himself before answering. "Not really."

I felt as though I was missing some inside joke, but I didn't bother to try and get in on it. I had never been big on socializing and probably wouldn't have much to contribute if he got talking about his late night adventures with his friends I barely knew.

We talked about trivial things the whole way to school. I still held my guard up as much as I could, in an attempt of self-preservation. But part of me was becoming more vulnerable to his genuinely friendly nature. I felt as though he was treating me like he _cared_ about me. It was nothing profound, just little things I observed. When I would bite my bottom lip in nervousness, he would ask me if I was okay. When I pulled my sleeves down, he found a conveniently-spare jacket off his back seat for me. When I motioned to collect my books, he already had them in hand to carry. He really _listened_ when I talked, and really tried to get to know me like he said he wanted to. He actually seemed interested when I spoke of my favourite foods, books and movies. I was gradually becoming eased of my paranoia, and felt myself beginning to trust him.

We were separated before our first classes, and I was unsure of what was appropriate to say when we were about to take off in different directions.

"So… thanks for the ride again," I stammered, "I guess I'll see you around."

Confusion crossed his face, and surprisingly, he struggled a little when responding too.

"You're welcome– but– I'll see you at lunch right? And… I'll drive you home again," he offered, as if it were common knowledge.

I still thought it was strange, and knew I should probably quit while I was ahead. But then I decided that satisfying my curiosity just a _little_ more couldn't hurt. Much.

"Okay," I shrugged, non-chalantly.

He beamed at this, and then turned towards his classroom.

--

At lunch, I found him sitting at my regular table. He was beaming again which I thought was strange, but was beginning to find amusing. He was always smiling randomly at _nothing._ It was weird, but kind of endearing. We picked up on previous conversations and I kept answering his slew of random questions as he continued to try and get to know me inside-out.

I stopped talking when I noticed he suddenly looked past me, distracted by something on the other side of the room. I turned to the direction he was looking, to see his friends Paul, Jacob, Quil and Embry standing in the middle of the cafeteria, shooting confused looks between their regular table and where Jared and I sat now. After a few seconds of puzzled contemplation, Jacob shrugged and made his way to our table with the others following behind him. Suddenly, I was surrounded by all five of them, digging into their lunchES.

"Guys," Jared addressed, "This is _Kim_."

Most of them managed friendly hi's, with their mouths half full. I smiled in return; a little mystified at the mountain of sandwiches that was disappearing before my eyes. They carried on as usual with their banter, even including me in their conversations as if we were already well acquainted. I felt a little awkward at first, but they were acting so natural that I got over the suspicion, and just talked to them in the same casual fashion.

--

On the way home, Jared and I never seemed to run out of things to talk about. The uncomfortable vibes that had floated between us disappeared, and my nerves were gradually dissolving. We eventually reached my house, but were still talking and laughing in the car. I didn't want to get out. I knew once I was alone reality would hit and I would be angry at myself again, for finding happiness in someone who had never given me the time of day… until now.

He stopped talking mid-conversation when a wolf's howl pierced the air. His frame stiffened and his eyes grew panicked.

"Jared? You okay?" I asked, waving my hand in front of his unblinking eyes.

He looked outside his window, towards the forest, then back to me.

His face was now anguished. "I– I have to go."

"Okay…"

"I… have to go," he repeated, but still didn't move.

"Alright," I replied, reaching to open my door.

"Wait! No!" he suddenly warned, grabbing my arm.

"Jared, what are you–"

"Don't go… outside."

"What? Why?" I questioned.

"It might not be safe," he cautioned, unsurely.

What was wrong with him? He looked stunned, and his words weren't making sense. The expression he wore reminded me of yesterday, and his reaction at my mention of the–

_Wolves. Ohhhh_…

"Jared, are you _scared_ of the _wolves_?" I asked, trying to stifle my amusement.

"_What?_ No it's not– no–" he stammered.

"It's okay, Jared," I teased, "The big bad wolf isn't gonna hurt you."

His face scrunched in a mixture of emotions. He looked _sick._

I realized that it must be a serious phobia or something, and I should probably just let him leave.

"Alright… Well I'm gonna go," I told him cautiously as I loosened his grip on my arm.

I reached for the door again and climbed out of the car. I turned around to find him shooting repetitive glances between the forest and my house. I continued on down my driveway, but noticed I still hadn't heard his car restart. He must have waited to make sure I made it to my front door alive. I let out a giggle at his paranoia.

Once inside my house, I headed straight into my room and pulled my window open. I hoped I might actually be able to get a glimpse of this _big bad wolf_. I looked out, squinting into the trees… but nothing. I was about to slide the window back closed when I noticed something white lying on the grass a few feet away from my house. I leaned outside of the window frame to get a closer look.

It was a shredded _t-shirt_.

_What the hell?_


	5. Chapter 5

Another week had passed. Another week that included a handful of lifts home, a newfound lunch table, and a distraction that somehow made Math feel less dismal. It was safe to say that after this week, Jared and I were now _friends._ Even _his_ friends were becoming my friends. It wasn't as much of an internal fight to be around him anymore. My feelings for him were still strong, but there was no longer a battle between my mind and my heart. It was like they had reached a compromise in settling for _friendship._

School was the extent of our friendship though. Jared and I didn't speak or see each other outside of school hours. This didn't bother me; I would take what I could get. In retrospect, it was probably better for my sanity this way anyway. Jared hadn't drawn any lines between us, but we both knew it was nothing more than a friendship, and I was content with that. Anymore time spent together and I was sure I would start to become obsessive… again.

Graduation was nearing, and I went back to excitedly counting down the days until my great escape. Sure, Jared and I were friends now—during school hours anyway—but a _sometimes_-friendship wasn't enough to keep me from finally fleeing town to start my new life. I took our friendship as a little reward for my years of suffering; perhaps a parting gift from my time in La Push. I knew better than to think my story would get tied up any other way. This was real life; not one of those modern day fairytales where the shy girl ends up with the boy she'd always pined for. And for that reason, I knew better than to act on my feelings. I wouldn't ruin this newfound friendship by uncontrollably blurting out something I'd regret later.

—

It was another day and another ride home, when Jared and I got to talking about our favorite bands.

"I have that album," I told him when he mentioned a band I recognized.

"_Really?_" he asked intrigued. "Wow, I wouldn't have guessed you'd be into that kind of music."

It was imperfect moments like this that reminded me Jared still really didn't know me. And it was imperfect moments like this that reminded me of where we stood. _O__ut. of. reach_.

"Yeah, I do. You can borrow it if you want," I offered, brushing off my observation.

He smiled. "Sure."

He stopped the car in front of my house as usual, though this time he turned the engine off to wait for me to retrieve the CD from inside the house.

"Do you want to come in?" I asked. "Beats waiting out here in the cold."

It was rainy and gloomy outside, which was normal for La Push, but nonetheless still unpleasant.

"Cold," he repeated, smiling to himself and shaking his head, as if the idea of him getting cold was absurd.

I waited for him to elaborate, but he said nothing more. Sometimes his reactions and little side comments would make me feel as though I was missing some inside joke or something. But I guessed that when you're attracted to someone unattainable you always imagine a sense of mystery to them in your head.

"Yeah… cold… you know… like… not hot," I added lamely.

He smiled again, but didn't respond. He was already taking off his seatbelt and reaching for his door. He followed behind me to my house, and I fumbled a little with my keys as it suddenly dawned on me that Jared would actually be in _my_ house—in _my_ room. The same room I used to cry over him in, the same room I used to decorate with undelivered love letters I wrote him, and thankfully, the same room I stripped all memories of him in, in my attempt to grow up and get over him.

Once in my room, I slumped onto the floor, cross-legged, shifting around boxes in search of the CD.

_"Wow._ That's a _lot_ of music," he appraised, noticing the overflowing boxes filled with CDs that lined my wall. "Maybe you should stack them up or something—get one of those CD shelves."

My face scrunched a little in embarrassment of my clutter. "Yeah, I have some shelves for them, but I'm packing for college so everything is kind of in the process of being crammed into boxes right now," I explained, looking around the room at my mess.

His eyebrows knit together and he almost looked sad, like he wanted to say something. I waited for a response, but he pressed his lips together and just nodded. I shrugged it off, and turned back to the box in front of me.

"Where did you say your college was again?" he asked a moment later.

I told him the name and place, and he looked to be concentrating on my words intently. Then he asked a few questions about the place, and the schedule I might be looking at. I thought that was strange since he didn't seem like the type who was interested in college—having decided to just continue working and all.

"So that's about three hours drive from here?" he extracted from my rambling.

"Something like that," I answered unsurely. I hadn't actually taken the time to calculate. It didn't seem relevant.

"So, you'll come back on weekends then?" he assumed, nodding contently.

I nearly laughed. "Not really," I answered, "I don't have my own car, and probably won't _want_ to come back anyway. I can't wait for college life."

Even just thinking about it had me smiling. Until his head shot up with panicked eyes. Then I looked confused.

"What?" I asked, startled by his reaction.

"You—you're not coming back? _Ever?_"

I hesitated to answer. He looked shaken. What was the big deal? That was the whole point in people _moving _to college, wasn't it? Not having to go back and forth? What else would he expect?

"I suppose Christmas… maybe. Major holidays… I don't know," I replied. "I haven't even _left_ yet, so I'm not really concerned with returning right now."

He turned to the window, unresponsively, and I wondered if he had even heard me.

A moment passed, and I continued rummaging through CDs again when he finally spoke.

"Well—you aren't leaving for another few weeks, right? So we can still hang out a lot 'til then," he concluded.

"I— yeah, I— guess," I stammered, unsure if I had interpreted that right.

I shifted and slid boxes across the floor, still pathetically searching.

"Okay, Jared, this is kind of hopeless. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Can I just bring it to school tomorrow?" I asked, finally giving up the search for the CD.

I turned to face him, but he didn't even acknowledge I had spoken. Something on my dresser seemed to have caught his attention.

"Jared?"

"Where did—What is _this?_" he asked, holding up the shredded t-shirt I had collected from the grass outside last week. I had to squint before I even recognized what it was. I had totally forgotten about it until now.

"_Oh._ It's half a t-shirt I found outside my window the other day. I thought I'd hang on to it, in case it could turn into evidence or something. You know, if something pops up on the news about someone getting mauled by a wild animal or—"

"_Aw, Kim!_" he whined, rubbing his forehead in stress.

"_What?_"

"You don't have much concern for keeping yourself _safe_, do you?"

How ironic. Maybe not physically, but he didn't know how much I was concerned with keeping myself safe from _emotional_ harm. Suppressing hope, biting back words and urges, neglecting lifts home on occasion. I _knew_ how to protect myself—emotionally, at least.

I shrugged.

"So someone was possibly _mauled_ by an _animal_ outside your window, and you thought it would be a good idea to immediately go outside and collect some evidence for keepsake?" he asked incredulously.

I shrugged again. "I don't know. I didn't really think about it like that, I guess," I answered lamely.

I was actually surprised at his lack of concern for the possibly mauled victim, and his automatic concern for _me. _Maybe he knew about it already, and didn't want to freak me out.

He shook his head, turning back around. "I'm gonna have to keep a better eye on you," he mumbled, more to himself.

I contemplated what he could possibly mean by that, and then understood.

"You take your security job pretty seriously, don't you?" I guessed.

He thought before answering, "Yes. Protecting what's important matters a _lot_ to me."

The way he paused before speaking, and the way he chose his words made me feel like there was more meaning implied. But then again, he was always mysterious to me. I didn't bother responding. Instead I turned back around, trying to arrange the boxes in front of me into some sort of order.

"_Kim_…_ I have to—_"

"I found it!" I yelled in delight, springing up to wave the CD in the air.

His expression fell and he let out a sigh. It was then I realized I had cut him off.

"Oh, sorry. What were you about to say?" I asked apologetically.

I was standing right in front of him now, waiting for an answer. But he just smiled and looked at me. Sometimes he did that. That look. The I-can-see-right-through-you look. I always got butterflies when he did it, and for that reason it made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to get excited over a look he _sometimes_ gave me—a look I could only guess the meaning behind.

"_Nothing,_" he said. "I wasn't going to _say_ anything," he repeated slowly, his endearing smile melting my insides. He took a step closer to me and suddenly the room felt _warmer; _my body felt hotter. I stopped breathing, waiting for him to continue. Waiting for him to just say something normal and kill the vibe that was now floating between us—the vibe I could only be imagining. But he didn't. He just kept looking. _Gazing._ And moving _closer_ as I was getting warmer.

I couldn't stand being held in his gaze, I couldn't think properly. He moved closer _again. _I wanted to say something; to protest. To yell at him. To tell him, "_Stop leading me on!_" It was taking so much control for me to even just be friends with him, but _this_ was pushing my limits. _That_ look and standing _this_ close was too much. _This_ had potential for heartbreak and threatened to restore _hope. _I needed him to _stop_. But I couldn't find the words. I couldn't even find the feelings to object. I felt… fuzzy. He moved closer again.

_Stop. Melting. Not. Good_.

I let out a jagged breath and looked down, closing my eyes, _willing _my brain to just get a hold of itself. It was silent, but I could still feel his presence right in front of me. Why wasn't he moving? I didn't understand, but I felt like he was waiting for something.

Was I missing signals right now? _Was _there meaning behind those looks? Or was this just me, complicating things in my head? I could still feel his eyes watching me, waiting for me to comprehend. I took a deep breath and finally urged myself to just look into his eyes, where I knew I would find the answer. This would be it; ultimate rejection or the moment I'd hoped for since I was six. I could be horribly wrong… or amazingly right.

Slowly and hesitantly, I tilted my head up. I hoped to God I wasn't imagining this and when I opened my eyes his face would be there, expressing the look I thought it might be. The I'm-about-to-kiss-you look. And with that thought teasing my mind, I decided it would be best to _keep_ my eyes shut for fear of losing this moment to reality. I felt his breath on my lips, indicating he had moved _closer_ again. My whole body shivered and my heartbeat got louder.

Ever so lightly, I felt his soft lips kissing mine. Not just connecting with mine, but really _kissing _them. It was slow and gentle and _warm._ Without a single thought, my body slowly reacted on its own. My lips were moving with his and _I _leaned in closer now, pulling myself against him. His skin was so _hot_; my body _gravitated_ towards the heat._._

Too soon, our lips parted. But mine ached for _more_, already missing the contact. The build up had been so intense, and I just wanted _release._

Finally, I let my eyes open to find his expression apologetic. Did he think I didn't want this? That this isn't what I had wanted all my life? Suddenly, I was overcome with courage. Or maybe it was _need_ more than courage. My body had taken the bait and it _needed_ more. I had momentarily let go of all reservations and control, and _needed_ to know it was worth something. I closed the gap between us and reached up to—"_KIMMMMM!_"

The sound of my mom's voice at the front door jolted us both, and we reflexively each took a step back from one another. My head was spinning, like I had just stepped off a rollercoaster, and I tried to catch enough breath to work up a response.

"_In here mom_," I called.

Jared's head was shaking, and the hint of a smile was playing on his lips.

"Should I jump out the window or something?" he asked teasingly.

I contemplated before answering. "No, don't. You might get _mauled_ by an animal," I teased back.

He winked at me, and then in one swift movement, bound out the window and ran around the side of my house back to his car.


	6. Chapter 6

I didn't sleep well that night. And for once it wasn't because of an inner struggle or self-conflicting thoughts. I actually allowed myself to revel in the amazing pleasure I had experienced that afternoon. I replayed the moment in my head over and over, letting myself smile carelessly at each playback of his kiss. Jared had _kissed_ me. And I hadn't gone to pathetic extreme measures to earn it. _He_ approached me; _he_ took enough interest in me to initiate it. I hadn't lied or misled him in anyway, as I seen other girls do so often. I hadn't even tried all that hard; it was all just happening _to_ me. "_One day, you'll find someone who will love you, for you._" My mom's words rang in my mind. Well it certainly wasn't love—on his part, at least—but I was being me, my true self, and that was enough to draw him in. As much as I hated to admit it, his interest made me feel _validated._ I was _happy_.

So happy, that I couldn't sleep. Because in that day and in that moment, reality was better than dreaming. I laid in my bed just staring at the ceiling. I cast a quick glance at the digital clock on my bedside table: 2:45 AM. I kept closing my eyes, but I knew sleep wouldn't come. Not tonight. I was _buzzing._ I reached over my head, blindly feeling along with the windowsill where I knew I'd left a book yesterday. Maybe reading would kill time. When my hands couldn't find it, I huffed out a sigh and flicked on my lamp. It was on the farther side of the sill and so I had to get up and crawl across my bed to reach it. Just as quickly as I had picked it up, the novel slipped out of my hands and onto my bed as I was suddenly looking down at a figure, right outside my window. I gasped and ceased all movement.

It was _huge. _

And furry.

It was… an animal.

It was… _sleeping?_

I consciously brought my breathing to a silence, in fear of waking it up. My heart picked up, beating fast and slow at the same time out of nervousness—the same way it reacted in Jared's presence. But this was a different nervous, this was terrified nervousness. I couldn't move. I stared wide-eyed for a moment, contemplating what I was supposed to do. I realized I'd never been taught the official emergency procedure for when over-sized animals decide it's nap-time right outside your bedroom window. I finally made an effort to shuffle a few inches back, eyes still fixed on the animal. The further away I looked from, the more obvious the shape of it became. Instead of a big dark mountain of fur, I could make out its four legs and the shape of its head. It was a _wolf._

A _wolf_ was _sleeping_ outside my _bedroom_ window.

It was both the scariest and most intriguing thing I had ever seen.

Was this the animal that had possibly mauled that person last week?

I shuddered at the thought.

It was weird the way it slept directly in front of my window, practically leaning against the outside wall of my house. Almost like a guard dog, surveillancing my room's entrance. Except it was sleeping, so it would have made for a pretty useless guard dog in reality. And it was a wild animal, so it would probably eat me too, along with any potential attackers. I wondered whether I should shine a torch in its eyes to spook it and make it run away. But then I surmised that the odds of _spooking_ a _wolf_ were probably not favorable. I watched it for about half an hour, kneeling in front of my window on my bed. The fear began to fade as I gradually convinced myself that it probably wasn't here to eat me. And who knows how many other nights I had slept with a wolf in close proximities without even knowing.

_Harmless_, I concluded.

After the first hour, it actually began to look less intimidating and kind of _cute_ all nestled up like that.

I rolled my eyes at that thought. That was exactly the kind of thought Jared would have deemed careless on my part. This was definitely something I wouldn't be telling him about tomorrow. _Tomorrow_, when he would come here to pick me up for school. Remembering this brought a smile to my face, and I shoved the book under my pillow and tried my hardest to fall asleep. Because the sooner I fell asleep, the sooner I would wake up and see Jared.

—

The next morning I crawled across my bed and checked outside the window. The wolf was gone.

_Harmless, _I reiterated smugly.

After getting ready, I sat in the kitchen eating breakfast while my knees bounced under the table, causing the utensils to rattle with my movement.

"You're a bit jittery today," my mom observed as she walked in, looking for her car keys.

I shrugged and abruptly stopped my fidgeting.

"Do you want a lift to school?" she offered. "I have to stop by the post office, so it's on the way."

"Uh, no. That's okay," I answered, not meeting her eyes.

_Of all the days to ask…_

She laughed. "You'd rather _walk_ to the bus stop in the _rain?_"

I internally groaned. This was going to be uncomfortable, but there was clearly no way I could avoid having to admit the truth. Not to my mom, I never lied to her.

"I have a lift to school today," I said, trying to sound casual.

"Oh," she responded just as casually, rummaging through her purse. "With whom?"

I paused before answering, mentally bracing myself for the flood of questions I knew I would be subjected to with the simple mention of this one name.

"Jared_._"

A silent pause.

"_Jared?_" she repeated in astonishment.

I nodded, and kept swirling around my cereal in its bowl.

"You're going to school with _Jared?_"

"Yep," I answered, going for casual again.

Another pause.

"Since when are you even _friends_ with Jared?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"I don't know… a week, nearly two."

_"How _did you become friends with Jared?"

She kept repeating his name in every question, like she had to continually clarify that we were indeed talking about the same person. _Jared._

"I don't know… we sit next to each other in Math," I answered uneasily.

"So you sit beside each other in Math all year, and then a week or two ago, he suddenly decides to become your friend, and _now_ he's driving you to school? It's not even on the way?"

This just made me more uncomfortable. If only she knew how many rides he'd actually given me this week, and just how _friendly _we'd become yesterday.

"He doesn't mind," I answered.

She seemed to have sensed my discomfort and made an effort to make her voice more soothing and less accusing. "Kim, you know I want you to be happy, it's just, I hope this boy has good intentions and this isn't some last minute high school fli—"

"I don't really want to talk about it, mom," I admitted, cutting her off. "I have to get ready, he'll be here soon."

I dumped my bowl in the sink and walked to my bathroom, locking the door behind me. I didn't really need to finish getting ready; I just couldn't stand to try and answer anymore of her questions. They were seriously killing my buzz. I sat in front of my mirror, listening for her car to pull out of the driveway. I stared at my reflection and I could read the expression of doubt resurfacing on my face. I couldn't answer her questions, because I truly didn't know the answers myself. How _did_ Jared and I become such fast friends? Or whatever awkward in between stage we were in now. Because he said he "wanted to get to know me" after he borrowed my pencil. That's how. Why did that feel strange to me? Did people ordinarily just wake up one day and decide they want to get to know someone they had ignored for thirteen years? I hadn't even said anything, and I barely even looked at him that day.

_Great. _

_Just great._

A couple of hours of flying and now I was slowing in speed, being pulled back down towards the ground. Back to a sobering reality.

—

Jared's car pulled into my driveway about ten minutes later, and I quietly climbed into the passenger's seat without saying anything. He was smiling at first, then his expression fell in response to mine: pensive.

"You okay, Kim?" he asked, genuine concern in his voice.

I nodded and pulled my books to my chest.

"You look a little tired," he noted.

"I didn't sleep well," I answered, remembering the wolf. The wolf which seemed like the least of my problems right now.

I wanted to ask him. To ask him _why_ he didn't talk to me all those years, to ask him _why_ he wanted to get to know me only _now_, and _why_ he was rushing us into this newfound-relationship. But then again, I hadn't talked to him either for all those years. God knows I had brought myself to try, but technically, I never did speak to him. Maybe he felt the same. Maybe he had wanted to talk to me too. Maybe. …_No._ I knew better than that. I had watched him closely throughout high school. He never tried. Until now.

_Was_ this his idea of some last-minute high school fling?

Questions were just leading to more questions in my mind, and it was really bringing me down. Was this just me being paranoid? Me being used to rotten luck, and now just finding ways to jeopardize my happiness? Possibly. _Probably_. And I didn't want to ruin this by making a big deal out of something that could just be nothing.

"Seriously, are you okay Kim?" he asked again, taking his eyes off the road to look at me.

I nodded again, to which he looked worried. I felt bad that I was worrying him, but I didn't want to kill his buzz too with my questions.

Once we got to school, he opened my door for me and I was jolted out of my absentminded state when I felt him holding my hand. Obviously _he_ wasn't questioning where we stood anymore. _He_ was making his feelings quite clear as we walked hand in hand through the school halls, everyone _staring_. His warm hand had a comfortable grip on mine, as my own sat limply in his. I should have been so happy about this. _This_ is what I had always dreamed about. So why did I feel so insecure now? He walked me to my class and softly kissed my forehead before watching me walk into the room. I could see concern in his eyes and I didn't want to imagine what he thought was bothering me. I felt so guilty. I actually made him _happy. _He held my hand proudly for all the school to see, and now I was being hesitant. The irony of the situation was frustrating.

Lunch was more of the same. I remained quiet while Jared tried to comfort me with minimal verbal communication. I guessed he didn't want to press for too much information, unsure of how to comfort me. Unsure, because he still really didn't know me. He didn't know how I liked to be comforted, he didn't know the things I liked, he didn't know the things I didn't like. He didn't know, because he only wanted to get to know me two weeks ago. He liked me enough to _kiss_ me, but he still didn't _know_ me.

_Stop, Kim. You're being paranoid._

"_Kim,_" he said, one hand placed on my lower back.

I turned to face him. "Yes?"

"Do you want to come to the beach with me after school?"

There was heavy implication that he wanted to talk, just not here in front of all his friends.

"Okay."

We walked to Math together, though the lesson was spent revising for finals. I was already sure I'd get into my college. _They_ sought _me_ out once they heard of my credentials. I'd all but received the official letter of acceptance, so I didn't care to listen in any of my classes anymore. The intense concentration of the room created a serious atmosphere where Jared couldn't talk to me, and so I spent the hour absentmindedly clock watching. _Fifty-seven minutes_ and one week left to escape.

—

The drive from school to First beach took less than two minutes. Once we were there, we took a seat on two big rocks that sat on the shore. I didn't have much to say, but I guessed Jared had spent the rest of the afternoon planning a speech of sorts, to try to find out why I was so down.

"What's wrong, Kim?"

_I'm scared this is just your idea of a last-minute fling._

"Nothing."

I didn't want to worry him. I just needed to get out of my own head overnight. I needed to sleep on it, and I'd be fine tomorrow. This was me being paranoid.

Maybe.

"You're _so…"_ he paused, and was now looking reluctant, as if afraid to go on.

"I'm just having an off day. No reason, I'll be fine tomorrow," I told him, though even _I_ could hear the lifelessness of my voice.

"It's not just today, though. It's—you're always so…" Another pause. It seemed like he couldn't find the right word. "_Hesitant_," he finally concluded.

"_Always?_" I asked, perplexed.

He nodded and then found the courage to talk more flowingly, like he'd been holding these words in and was relieved to finally speak them.

"You always seem so _reserved_, but it's only around me? Like you're scared of me or something—or worried that something's about to happen or suddenly change for the worse. I don't know, but I feel like there's so much going through your head all the time when you're around me, like you can't be comfortable and you can't think properly—everything you say seems like a second thought, like there's so much you're still holding back. Even when I was about to kiss you yesterday, you were so reluctant—like you were trying to fight it. I could read it in your face. Even when you wouldn't look at me—even with your eyes closed, I could _feel_ it. And then you kissed me back and it was gone—you were fine. And then now—today, it's back. You're scared again."

_Speechless._

I was speechless.

He'd read me like an open book. Everything he had observed was so right. '_I could read it in your face… __even with your eyes closed._' He'd only known me for less than two weeks, but had read me deeper than anyone else ever had. Even better than my mom, who hadn't detected these highs and lows over the past two weeks. I was amazed. No one had ever known me like that, and I hadn't even said anything about it all to him. He just _saw_ it. He _felt_ it. He _did_ know me. Maybe not my favorite bands or favorite foods, but he knew the things that you couldn't explain with words. The feelings I never openly discussed. That was so much more. I didn't know what to say.

"Sorry," I let out quietly, a little embarrassed.

He smiled. "Don't be sorry, just be comfortable around me. I won't hurt you, Kim. I _can't_ hurt you."

I nodded, but didn't know the right words to say to that. It sounded ironic that he believed he _couldn't_ hurt me, but somehow, I kind of believed him. He took my hand as we walked along the beach quietly, and I guessed he was just allowing the silence for his words to really sink in. I walked on top of the rocks as he walked along the sand, still holding my hand. Even walking on the rocks, I was still only a little taller than him. He had grown so much over the past few months, it was incredible. Maybe this sudden growth spurt was mental too, and that's why he was suddenly talking to me. His emotions intensified, just like his physical appearance? Who knew, I was probably way off. I knew this was more than likely me just being paranoid, but I still couldn't shake the feeling.

_Pull it together, Kim. Just be happy for once._

The rocks began to get higher and higher, and eventually he couldn't reach my hand anymore as he remained on ground level. I ended up ascending them like stairs and found myself on a small peak, metres off the flat sand now. I was suddenly nervous at how high I had climbed, unsure of how I was going to get down. The rocks I'd ascended were easier to climb up than go back down. I took a few steps forward and peeked over the edge to see Jared still standing in front of the rocks on the sand below me.

He held out his arms.

"_Are you serious?_" I asked incredulously at his suggestive stance.

"_Jump, Kim._ You can trust me."

And I knew he wasn't only talking about taking a leap off the rocks. We both knew. I hesitated for a moment on the edge, contemplating the risk. The chances of falling and getting hurt were high. But then I looked at him. I saw the look on his face and somehow, I knew he would catch me; he wouldn't let me get hurt.

And with that simple reassurance, I let go of all insecurities and let myself fall off the edge, into his arms; let myself fall back in love with him, free of all doubt.


	7. Chapter 7: Jared

_**Jared:**_

_Dude, stop!_

The sound of Paul's voice screaming into my head pulled me from my daydream of Kim as we ran through the forest together on patrol. It was coming to the end of our shift and we hadn't crossed any trails, so now we were sort of just _running_ more than patrolling to pass the time. Which gave us a lot of time to think. About girls.

_Sorry. Can't help it_, I told him.

_Well, learn to help it! You're making me sick and I can't focus!_

I rolled my eyes. He was probably just being bitter about not having his own imprint. With Quil imprinting on Claire, it was obvious that it didn't happen in order of transformation like we thought it might.

_I'm not freakin' jealous, I just don't want to be hearing about your imprint all the time!_ he mentally yelled, fuming at my thoughts.

_Well, you don't complain when Quil thinks about Claire,_ I challenged as I ran to catch up to him.

_Because his thoughts are clean and innocent. And Claire's cute, I don't mind seeing her. But your thoughts aren't innocent, and Kim's not my type, so I don't wanna be thinking about her like that!_

_Fine_, I told him, _I'll try to stop._

_When you planning on telling her anyway?_ he asked.

This sobered me completely, and shattered any daydreams that still might be lingering in my mind. Paul's reminder that I was still lying to her was a reality that made me feel more guilty than anything.

_I don't know. Sam and Em said to wait 'til the next bonfire. Become her friend first and then tell her about the whole imprinting thing then. Just so it's not so overwhelming and it doesn't freak her out as much. But then she said she was leaving and I panicked. I kissed her about five minutes after she told me, and I guess now she's my girlfriend, but I still don't know how to tell her._

_Well, you better do it soon, _he added._ She might start to pick up on things. Didn't you say she saw one of us running around naked in the forest before?_

I internally grimaced at this. It was true, Kim was smart. Not just academically, but she was intuitive and picked up on things easily. We were complete opposites in so many ways. She was a lot more observant than I was, and more careful with her feelings. We didn't have a lot in common, but that's what I loved. She was so different to me—different to anyone I'd ever met. I could never believe that I had gone all those years without noticing her. Every time I would reflect over my years of high school, no memory of her ever registered. How could I not notice such a smart, interesting, _beautiful_ person sitting right next to me? It sucked, but I was grateful I had found her eventually.

But now, the intelligence I admired in her was working against me. She even found shreds of my t-shirt from that afternoon a vampire was lurking in the woods. Which made it even harder for me to come up with more complicated lies to explain where I was and what I was doing all the time. She never challenged my lies though, because she trusted me whole-heartedly, which only made me feel even guiltier. I couldn't wait until she knew and all the secrets were out between us.

_I wonder if it was me she saw naked_, Paul provoked sarcastically. _Bet she'd love that._

_Shut up, Mr Paul-tatohead__,_ I retorted, using the name little Claire had dubbed him with. The name we all knew he hated. I heard defeat in his mind, and internally laughed to myself.

At the end of our shift, we ran to Sam's place and phased back into human form, pulling on our shorts in the trees behind the house. Paul went straight to the lounge room and sat in front of the T.V to play video games. Sometimes moments like this made me feel really abnormal. Go out and kill vampires, then come back home half-naked to play videogames.

_My life is so weird._

I was at least grateful for Kim. Finding her was the best part of becoming a werewolf. She made all the weird parts worth it.

And yet, I was still keeping secrets from her…

"Hey, Jared," Em greeted as I entered the kitchen. "You hungry?"

"Not really."

She looked concerned. "You okay?"

She knew something was probably wrong if one of us wasn't hungry. And she was right. I figured if anyone knew about the complications of this imprinting stuff it would be Emily. Plus, she was a girl, so her advice would probably be more helpful than _Paul's_.

"I don't know what to do about Kim," I admitted, dejectedly.

"Ah."

"I still haven't told her and I really want to. But I've spent so much time really just trying to open her up and make her comfortable around me, you know?"

She nodded knowingly, observing the situation.

"And she's leaving for college soon. She said she's pushed her move-in date later, but I still don't know if she plans to come back here—I don't know how serious she is about me. I've only known her for a few weeks."

It was silent for a few seconds, as Emily took in my dilemma.

_"Wow,_" she said. "You've got quite a situation there."

I sighed. "Yep."

"Well, I'm sure it will work out. Imprinting is like magic, it just works out in the end—it's our destiny. Look at Sam and me! If _that_ situation worked out, yours will too. You two are _destined_ to be together. It will happen in the end somehow. Trust me," she offered.

I sighed again. I guessed she had a point. Her situation was really messed up to start with, and by some miracle, it did work out in the end.

"Thanks, Em," I said before I caught a glimpse of the clock hanging above her head.

Emily noticed, and teasingly reminded me of where I was supposed to be.

_"Twelve-thirty_. Shouldn't you be sleeping outside Kim's window by now?"

I grimaced. "Sam told you about that, huh?"

"I think it's _sweet_," she said, half sincerely, half jokingly.

"Whatever, Em," I answered dismissively, already leaving the room.

"You're like her little guard-puppy!" her mocking voice continued from a distance, but I didn't respond. I was already phasing into the forest.

I ran excitedly, knowing I would see her in minutes. I spent almost every night here, sleeping outside her window. It wasn't as physically comfortable as my bed, but it was more emotionally comforting to know she was just on the other side of the wall. She never saw me, I made sure of that. Though I don't know how she would react if she ever did. Knowing Kim, she probably wouldn't be scared. She would probably come outside to try and feed me or play fetch or something.

Somehow, she was brave when it came to the idea of monstrous animals attacking right outside her window, yet terrified at the idea of her feelings getting hurt. It pained me to realize she was scared that _I_ could hurt her. Which was so ironic. Imprinting was proof that we were each other's perfect match; I couldn't hurt her if I tried. I couldn't even _imagine_ doing anything to hurt her.

I broke out of the trees neighbouring her house when I noticed the light in her bedroom was still on. The closer I got, I realized her mother was in her room, leaning against the doorframe. I could just see the top of Kim's head through the window as she sat on her bed, her back faced to me.

Quietly, I crept closer, lowering myself to the ground, making sure I wouldn't be seen in the dark.

"It's not like that, mom," Kim said.

"Well, it's just strange to me. You have to admit, it's pretty strange," her mom offered.

"No, it's not," she retorted defensively.

"He doesn't talk to you for all those years, and now you're practically dating?"

My insides knotted as I realized what they were talking about. I guessed Kim had finally found the guts to tell her mom about us. She'd been putting it off for a while now.

"It just seems like a _fling_ on his part, Kim."

I almost barked aloud in protest, but bit back my growl to listen.

"It's not, mom. It's more than that. I just know. It's something more, I can feel it," she answered, growing more confident as the words came out.

She could _feel_ it. I knew that was the imprint bond she could feel. We were emotionally tied to one another, and it was stronger than any kind of love any other couple could feel. Even if she didn't know the reason behind it yet, I was glad she could at least _feel_ it. The same way I could feel her internal struggle and pain, before she trusted me.

"Well what about college? What happens then?" her mom asked

I stopped breathing and listened more intently.

"I—I don't know yet. We'll figure something out. I'll come back to visit," she answered assertively.

I sighed in relief. I was so grateful that she had said that, knowing she was in this with me, regardless of the distance between us. Maybe this_ would_ work out just like Emily said.

"So he's worth it? Worth all of this?" her mom mused, her tone bordering on rude.

I had a feeling that she wasn't only talking about making the effort to travel back and forth to see each other, but maybe also the obvious tension that was growing between them.

Kim said she had always been close to her mom, and they never fought with one another. Obviously my presence in her life was changing that. Since we met, she'd been lying and sneaking around with me, and now they were arguing. Which made me feel even worse; I never wanted to make Kim's life harder. I wanted to be _good_ for her. I would definitely need to tell her about the imprint soon, just so she knew how committed I was and her mom's rambling about this so-called _'fling_' wouldn't sink into her brain. She was paranoid enough.

"He's worth it," Kim finally answered, her voice more sure than I had ever heard it.

_Tomorrow_, I told myself, _I'll tell her tomorrow._


	8. Chapter 8

_**Kim:**_

Boy. Friend.

Boy who is a friend. Who I kiss.

A lot.

I still shied away from calling Jared my boyfriend yet, because I'd never had a boyfriend before, so I wasn't really sure what the protocol was for being officially termed. I absentmindedly contemplated this while sluggishly pushing and shoving boxes around my room in search of my black sweater. Jared would be coming over to pick me up in a few minutes to take me to the rez.

I was rifling through my half-empty closet when I heard a soft knock on my already-open bedroom door. I turned to see my mom with a sheepish look on her face, leaning against the frame. We'd really got into it last night, arguing about Jared. It hurt that she didn't understand. We never fought, and now there was so much tension between us. I guessed she was upset too; normally she would waltz right into my room, even if the door were closed. Now she seemed reluctant, like she was scared to set me off with the smallest wrong gesture.

"You can come in," I told her as she stood there waiting.

She sat on my bed, making an effort to stay out of my way as I tossed things around, paying her little attention.

She cleared her throat. "I… just wanted to say I'm… sorry."

I stopped and turned to her. "It's okay, mom."

"I'm just… worried, Kim," she said softly. "There's something about him, I just can't quite put my finger on it."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't start, mom."

She sighed defeatedly, and began folding the clothes I had tossed onto the bed. I guessed she'd given up.

"Do you need help packing your clothes?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, no, I'm not packing. I'm just looking for a sweater. Jared's taking me to the rez to meet his friends and—"

"Which friends?" she asked, cutting me off.

"I don't know, I think Sam and—"

"Sam Uley?" she guessed, looking a little stunned.

"Uh… yeah. I guess… You know him?" I asked, intrigued.

"_No!_"

"No?"

"No—I mean—yes," she stammered. "Kim, I don't want you hanging around that Sam Uley. There's something off about him, he's up to no good these days."

"What? How do you know _that_?"

"It's a small town, Kim. News travels fast. Those boys on the rez are up to no good."

"Aw, mom! They're security patrollers, give it a rest!"

I didn't know what she was trying to pull now, but I'd sat at the same lunch table as most of them for the past few weeks and they were the friendliest people I'd ever met. Maybe sometimes secretive, but who doesn't have secrets? This was her trying to sabotage my relationship because she was scared I'd slack off at college, trying to return to La Push every other day.

I didn't want to bother getting into the same argument we had last night, and thankfully, a knock at the front door saved us both from even starting down that path again. I picked up my sweater and headed straight for the door, but didn't miss the loud sigh I heard on my way. Before I left, I needed to get the last word out, just to make her understand.

"You don't get it," I told her. "I'm happy."

--

"So, who am I meeting today?" I asked Jared as we drove out of my street.

"Um… Well, Sam and Emily. But they aren't home yet, so we'll just go to First Beach for now."

I noticed he looked a little distracted. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I—yes, I'm fine."

I shrugged it off. I knew he wasn't really a morning person. Somehow he never got enough sleep.

We pulled up to the beach and walked quietly until we reached a patch of dry sand to sit on. The sun was actually shining today and the air was almost warm. I sat in Jared's lap, closing my eyes to face the sun, in hopes of soaking up some color. He was quiet too, and I guessed he must have been enjoying the atmosphere as well.

After a few minutes, I opened my eyes to such a beautiful sight. The waves were gently lapping the shore with the sun shining in the bright blue sky in the distance. It was so peaceful and beautiful. Like one of those moments that takes your breath away and really makes you appreciate life.

I knew it was worth it now. All those years of pining after Jared were worth the wait. Nothing could beat this. I was flying. It was like one of those cheesy romantic movie moments. Almost surreal.

_. . . Surreal._

Like it couldn't possibly be real.

Thoughts of my mother's concerns crept into my brain. She wondered why Jared had taken an interest in me only now. _Because he loves me, mom._ I was convinced she wouldn't understand. Our love was something else, something stronger than normal; I could feel it. _Yes, but why only now? _I didn't care to consider an answer, Jared wouldn't hurt me. He told me he _couldn't _hurt me. I'm sure he had his reasons. But_ truly, why only now? _I was intrigued, but still optimistic. Asking him would only give him more reason to tell me why he loved me. Nothing could bring me down now.

"_Why did you only notice me now?_" I asked, breaking the silence.

I felt his frame slightly stiffen around me, which confused me, so I turned a little to face him.

"I… actually have been meaning to talk to you about that_._"

I didn't say anything, contemplating for a second. Though his tone was serious, I smiled a little at his apparent nervousness. A _planned_ declaration of love?

Arms still around me, he took a deep breath. Suddenly, I felt something coming; he seemed to be rearranging his thoughts, and loosened his hold on me. My heart picked up in confused anticipation. I didn't know what I was supposed to be feeling, but I could sense tension building. All I had asked was how he noticed me? What could be so serious about that?

"You know about the Quileute legends, don't you?"

_What?_

I was completely dumbfounded. What was he talking about? I shuffled out of his lap, and turned completely so we were face to face. He took my hands into his, discomforted by the loss of contact between us.

"Yes?" I responded hesitantly.

"Do you know about the wolves?"

I didn't understand where he was going at all with this, and wasn't sure if we were even talking about _us_ anymore. But I did know a lot about the local legends, probably more than the average La Push resident.

"Quileute men were supposedly able to transform into werewolves?" I suggested.

I was fairly certain that was what legends proclaimed, but my statement came out more as a question, because I was still unsure of why we were talking about this. Did he misunderstand my question? Was he changing the subject?

He didn't say anything for a while, and was looking down at our hands. I was still waiting, slowly growing anxious and impatient as the silent seconds were passing. _What Jared? _I wanted to say. _Spit it out. _

"Quileute men _can_ transform into werewolves, Kim. It's true."

"_What?_"

My hands weakened and slipped out of his grip. He took them back into his and nodded.

"But _you're_ Quileute?"

"I am."

"You can transform into a wolf?"

"We all can. Jake, Embry, Quil, Paul and I. It's in our blood. That's why we all suddenly look different."

His face was so serious; he was telling me the truth. As crazy as it all was, he was telling me the _truth_.

_Don't freak, Kim. He loves you. He loves you and that's all that matters._

I made a conscious effort to get a grip of his hands, not letting them slip again. I didn't want him to think I was freaked out, or feel any kind of rejection. Just like he loved me for my quirks, I would love him for his. Even if that meant turning into a… werewolf, on occasion.

"Okay," I responded, simply and affirming.

_Okay. It's okay_, is what I meant. _It's okay that you're a wolf, I still love you._

I had waited this long for him to love me, for me, and so I could only do the same for him. It was apart of who he was; I would still love him as he loved me. I let out a deep breath at this resolve and regained control of my panic. Surprisingly, that somehow wasn't as bad as what I might have been expecting.

_But he still didn't answer my—_

"_But that's not all,_" he continued.

I mentally braced myself.

_Keep it cool. You can handle it. As long as he loves you, that's all that matters._

I tried to meet his eyes, but they were again looking down at our hands. What was it? He was nervous about something. _What?_ Didn't he know I would stand by him through anything by now? He wouldn't look at me, and I just wanted to tilt his face up so he could just relieve me of my own nerves.

"There's this thing called imprinting," he said, cautiously.

My carefully held expression of calm faltered at the word.

"After you've transformed into a wolf for the first time, you can find your soul-mate just by looking at her."

".._Oh..kay_."

"You instantly feel an emotional pull towards her, and right away you just know you'll always love her. Your whole purpose in life shifts to make her happy; to protect her and keep her safe."

I didn't speak. I could see the linear path of where this conversation was going, and though it did seem to be a declaration of love of sorts, it was slowly bringing down my flying spirits.

"You're my soul mate, Kim," he clarified, "I _imprinted_ on you that day in Math."

"Wait…" I interrupted, repeating the words in my ahead again. "…_What?_"

"The first time I saw you—after I transformed—I _imprinted_."

_N-no, _my mind instinctively reacted. Coherent thoughts weren't forming as my subconscious refused to understand what he was saying. There were no conclusions in my head, just the internal plead for him to stop talking and take back his words.

_Don't, _I thought. _Whatever you're saying, just don't… __Stop… __No more…_

I wanted to mentally shield myself; crawl into a corner, cover my ears, and take back my question.

"We're bound to one another."

_Wrong!_

Why did this feel so_ wrong?_

_Soul mate_, he called me. _You will always love her_, he described it.

The sweetest words I could've hoped for, but it all sounded so _wrong…_ He looked at me in Math and was instantly _bound_ to me?

_Bound??_

Understanding gradually seeped through my veins, and then jolted me into sobriety from my ignorant bliss.

_How? Why?_

"Wh– _How?_" I blurted out. "Why does it work like that?"

He still held my hands, trying to comfort me, but I couldn't even feel his anymore. I barely felt as though I was still sitting here having this conversation with him. I barely knew my name at that moment. I felt as though I was having an out-of-body experience and this conversation wasn't really happening to _me. _Like I was watching it happen to someone else, and the sound of his voice was a second-hand echo.

"The Elders say the person we imprint on is our best fit to pass on the wolf gene with. Once we've imprinted, there's no one else for us. Only her. _Only you, Kim._"

_Wrong . . . So. .Wrong. . ._

My insides_ whined_ and _cringed_ at his words. What was worse was his expression. It was careful, yet soft and not apologetic. It was like he thought he was confessing his undying love for me. Like what he just told me was romantic and otherworldly, and I should just accept it as our happily ever after without question. But it just felt so _wrong_. . . And not wrong like a little glitch, but like I had been kicked in the gut. _Hard_. The things he said were slowly piecing together in my mind, ultimately forming the unspoken conclusion:

_He didn't love me._

_Jared_ didn't love me. No—not in the real way. Wolf-Jared _imprinted _on me. A chemical reaction in his DNA _forced_ him to love me. This was genetic manipulation—_coercion_. _All. So. Wrong. _True love isn't like this—true love isn't scientific.

He didn't know I was smart and interesting. He hadn't known for thirteen years and if not for this _imprinting_, he never would have known—he never would have cared. We had nothing in common except for this _imprint_. Even if he had talked to me before, it never would have been the same; it never would have worked. We were so _different. _I was his best candidate to reproduce the wolf gene with? _Inhumane,_ my mind yelled. Did this get any less humane and insensitive than that? I was his _reproductive fit?_

I pulled my hands from his and caught his gaze. He looked confused as I stared into his eyes. He didn't even understand why I was upset. How could he not _understand?_ We were two different people, two different minds; logically incompatible. He was still watching me, waiting for me to say something.

I _knew_ something had changed about him after his long absence. I looked into his eyes now, staring; _searching._ Searching for the Jared I had fallen in love with when I was six years old. His eyes had changed. This wasn't Jared I was looking at; it was _wolf_-Jared. They were not the same. Ironically enough, the Jared I was in love with was the Jared that had ignored me for all those years. Not this Jared, who stood six foot and had hard protective eyes. This Jared was _bound_ to me without choice, and was fine with that. If it had been any other girl he imprinted on, he would have done the same. Fallen for her without knowing anything about her, and expected her to feel just as much and live happily ever after. So _wrong._

Suddenly I was feeling stupid. _Stupid girl. _I should have known something was up. He doesn't even _look_ at me for thirteen years, and all of a sudden he _loves_ me? It took the existence of mythical _werewolves_ for him to notice me. Of course, only in a supernatural world could Jared love me. _Stupid girl. _Why did I ask? _Why?_ My mom was right. He was never worth it. And now I had turned my back on her, driven a wedge between us to fight for something that wasn't even _real._ All my carefully built walls were crumbling inside me, caving in from all directions. I was breaking.

"Kim, where are you going?"

I hadn't even realized I stood up and turned to walk away. It must have been my subconscious deciding I needed to get out of there in a desperate attempt of self-preservation. My body was moving on its own accord. I wasn't consciously aware of where I was going or what I was doing. It was as if everything that was holding me in place was now _pushing_ me in a different direction. My only thought was _escape. _The only other thing I had ever wanted besides Jared: _escape._

My mind replayed his words again, the things he'd told me before this. _I can't hurt you, Kim._ Words that contradicted themselves as soon as they were spoken. _Lies._ All of them were lies. Lies so twisted that he didn't even see the fault in them.

"_Kim, wait!_"

I felt his hand catch mine, and I suddenly jerked to a halt. _Kim, wait._ The two words that had started all of this, the two words that lured me into this in the first place. How _different _things could have turned out if I didn't_ wait_ that first day. _No, _my mind told him. I couldn't find the voice to speak and I knew I didn't have enough in me right now to fight. I just needed to get out of there.

I wavered for the shortest second, thinking, _Is this really happening?_ I knew it was, but just had to be sure.

In one last futile glance, I hoped that when I looked back into his eyes I would see _Jared—_My Jared. Not _wolf-_Jared.

…My Jared wasn't there.


	9. Chapter 9: Jared

_**Jared:**_

Pain. Rejection. Regret.

That's what I saw in Kim's face before she walked away from me. Her hand slipped out of mine almost in slow motion. As I watched her leave, dumbfounded and bewildered, I was at a loss for what I was supposed to do. I knew I should do something, but all I felt was my heart drop to my stomach. _This wasn't supposed to happen! _It was taking everything in me not to phase. Or cry. I stood motionless for a few moments, and then the trembling began. Not the pre-phasing trembling, the in-shock trembling. My knees were weakening; any strength I had in me, emotionally and physically, was decreasing with every step she took away from me.

_Come back!_ I wanted to yell, but couldn't find my voice. _This wasn't supposed to happen! _my mind repeated, not knowing who I was even complaining to. I didn't know how I expected her to react, but _this_ was the last thing I thought would happen. Curious, maybe. Scared, even. But I never expected her to _leave._ I didn't think it was _possible_ for her to reject me; reject the imprint. I had watched the emotions playing out on her face and just like that, she left. She rejected me.

_No, no, no!_

The look on her face just before she left haunted my thoughts. It was as if she hesitated for a second, then had become completely resolved on leaving with that last look at me._ Why? What did I do?_ She didn't look scared; it wasn't fear that made her leave. She wasn't scared by the wolf thing. It was the _imprinting _that made her leave. _What happened?_

I was angry now. I don't know who with. Maybe myself, maybe at imprinting, maybe at my tribe. I knew I couldn't chase after her now, I was too angry and I might end up hurting her by involuntarily phasing. Still, I needed to do _something. _

_Phase_, I told myself.

I needed to talk to someone. Anyone. I could still see her walking, heading in the direction of her house. As unnatural as it felt to turn away from her, I leapt into a phase and broke out into the opposite direction.

_SAM! _I yelled in my mind. _SAM!_

I didn't know who was patrolling right now, but I hoped to God it was Sam.

_Jared? Dude, everything okay? _Embry asked, picking up speed at my panic, thinking there might be a leech nearby.

_I need Sam, get Sam! _

Embry saw the flicker of images fluttering through my mind. He knew better than to ask right now, and he silently accelerated in speed through the forest only to arrive at Sam and Emily's empty place.

_He's not here,_ he told me. _What happened?_

I wanted to talk to Sam, someone who knew about imprinting, but since he was nowhere to be found, Embry would have to do for now.

_She left!_ I yelled, _I told Kim and she rejected me! This wasn't supposed to happen!_

He silently took in the replay of our conversation as my frantic thoughts collided with one another.

_How could she do this? She was fine with the wolf thing—__it was the _imprint_ she rejected! Why? I told her she was my soul mate! I don't understand!_

Embry was quietly deliberating, focusing on her expression at my confession.

_Well…_ he began.

_Well, what? _ I yelled in desperation.

_Well, think about it from her perspective. You never talked to her before and then…_

His thoughts trailed off, but I could already see the conclusion he had arrived at. I cursed to myself, repeatedly, realizing how _wrong_ it all must have sounded to her. I had never seen her face before and now I had admitted that I was instantly _bound_ to her with one look. How _insensitive _had I been? How could I have not seen that coming? I wish I just _understood_ this all more myself, so I could find some way to explain it to _her_ without making it sound so bad.

_You need to talk to her. Now_, Embry told me, cutting into my thoughts.

I turned around, running faster than I ever have in my life towards her house. Somehow, it felt like a life or death mission. It felt like if I didn't fix this right now, something big would come of it. The ominous feeling sat in the back of my mind as I powered through the forest trees.

_Don't lose her,_ was Embry's last thought before I phased at her doorstep.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Kim:**_

I kept walking._ Trudging._ Trudging through the sand with every step in-sync with my pounding heart. Everything was sinking in as I kept going. All the truths I had been trying to push away and ignore were settling into perspective as the silence eliminated all distractions. Everything he had told me had been dropped on me like a bomb, so messy and overwhelming, but now it was all aligning. Random bits and pieces of information were falling into line, forming answers to questions I'd never even asked. He had been _lying_ to me this whole time.

The wolf sleeping outside my window—that was him. I didn't have proof, but somehow, I was sure. He freaked out when I said I was leaving for college. Probably because he was tied to the land—tied to his tribe. My mom's suspicions. _There's something about him._ How right she had been, and I'd been stupid enough to tell her she didn't understand, when all along it had been _me_ who didn't understand. All of this he had been keeping from me. And on top of that, he straight out told me to _trust_ him. He went out of his way to _assure_ me he couldn't hurt me and _asked _me to let my guard down, only to take a clear shot at my heart when I was in my most vulnerable state.

_How could I have been so naïve? _I had always been so _careful_, so _cautious._ I never wanted to be one of those girls who fell for a line. I had my reservations and I threw them all away because he told me to. _God, Kim. Listen to your head, not your heart next time. _I could feel my insides weakening.

Why was this happening to _me_? Why _now? _I was so _close_ to leaving and this happens _now_? I was doing just _fine_ before he came along. My legs were getting shaky as I struggled to walk aimlessly through the sand. _Just keep walking_, I told myself. I didn't know where Jared was, but I couldn't hear his pursuit behind me which I was grateful for. I just needed to get _away_ before everything would catch up to me. I needed to delude myself from believing this was happening and just leave it all behind.

_Home,_ I told myself. It was as if I were two different beings at that moment. The division between my heart and head was resurfacing. _Go home,_ my head told me, while my heart_ begged_ me to turn around and go back to him.

I kept walking and walking, my eyes beginning to sting, my brain willing my shaky legs to just keep going and get home. I walked without stopping, without slowing in speed and without turning around. By the time I reached my street, I felt like I was gasping for air. Like I had been underwater and _home_ was the point where I could finally breathe and break down.

With trembling hands, I pushed and shoved the keys through the lock until to door would open. I took one step into my house where the door fell closed behind me, and that's when I lost it. My knees finally gave out underneath me and I was on the floor crying. Weeping. Broken. I wasn't even angry anymore, not looking for anyone to blame, just truly falling apart and feeling the rush of pain I'd been trying to hold in.

"_Kim?_"

It was his voice. It sounded unclear and almost muted in my sobbing, but I knew he was near, standing on the other side of the closed door. How he got here, I don't know.

"_Kim…" _he begged, his voice full of anguish_. "Kim, please open the door."_

I took in a jagged breath, clearing my hair out of my face and stopped my crying to listen for his voice again. He seemed to sense indecision in my silence.

"_Kim_, I—" he paused. "Kim, I'm sorry. I know it sounds—it sounds really messed up, but—"

I couldn't listen to it. I pulled my knees to my chest, blocked my ears and closed my eyes. I didn't want to hear it, because no matter how he explained it, the principle of it was still the same. This was _not_ love. This was all fairy tale, supernatural world love. Magic spells and mythical creatures. This was _not_ my life. This was _not_ real life. I tried crawl back into rationality, into logic thinking, untainted by my emotions.

_Just get it over with_, I thought. _Let it go._

I stood slowly and quietly pulled the door open. I didn't speak, holding in my breath, waiting for his predictable words to come out so I could shut them back down and get this all over with. Like ripping off a bandaid.

"I'm—sorry," he let out softly.

It was as if he understood why I was upset now. Why this was all logically _wrong_ and not romantic at all. I could tell by his face he really was sorry; he knew what he was sorry for now.

"You wouldn't have known—" I started, and then needed to find more breath to work out the rest. "You wouldn't have known who I was if you didn't imprint on me."

He didn't try to argue, and his expression grew wounded and guilty.

"I'm sorry, Kim. I'm—_sorry_…"

He couldn't continue; there were clearly no other words. He looked like he was almost in tears, too. I'd thought this had all been a big joke on me, but I realized this was equally his loss as well as mine. This wasn't his fault. He couldn't help what ran through his bloodlines, he couldn't help _imprinting._ This wasn't his choice, he didn't ask for it—didn't ask for _me. _I couldn't be mad at _him_, it was _imprinting_ that was the enemy right now. _Imprinting _had us both fooled.

"It's not real," I whispered, still in disbelief as I wiped away escaping tears. "_None of it was real?_"

His head shot up and he looked confused, like he'd misunderstood me. "What do you mean?"

"You didn't really want me, you were being forced."

"_No—_I _do_ want you, Kim. That _is_ real." He held his palm over his chest, as if feeling for his heart.

I shook my head, pitying him for not being able to see what this imprint held over him. It was like a spell. How could he not see? I felt for him for being so blinded by this.

"_Jared,_" I managed out in a soft, clear voice, though it actually hurt to say his name aloud. "This _isn't _real. You didn't even know who I was until that day in Math and you wanted to be with me, right away. That is _not_ right."

The tone I spoke with was soft; patronizing. I didn't want to be angry with him, it wasn't his fault and he obviously still didn't understand.

"It is, Kim. It is real. I—I don't know a lot about it, but I know I really do lo—"

"_Don't_," I quickly cut off.

_This is not his fault, _I reminded myself, to keep from having an outburst. _Be rational…__let go. Just. Let. Go._

"It's not your fault," I assured him, "but I forgive you if that's what you came to hear." He winced at the harshness of my tone, which only made me feel worse. He deserved more honesty than that; we were both victims here. I inhaled and tried again. "It hurts—this whole thing, it really hurts, but I will… get over it… in time."

I didn't know how true that was, but I knew how much I wanted it to be. I was hurting right now, more than I could ever imagine possible, but in my head, the worst was over. Jared and I needed to just forget this happened, and not try to fix something that was already _wrong_ to start with. This was neither of our faults, just some universal joke being played on us, and now that we'd recognized it for what it was, it needed to be forgotten before it could manipulate us any longer.

_Rational, Kim. Be strong._

"Get over… _me_?" he asked, almost inaudible, clearly stunned by my words.

I nodded.

"_No! _Kim, I can't do that—_we can't do that!_ It's not supposed to be like that—we're supposed to be together! It's our _destiny!_"

_Destiny_.

I'd never heard the word being spoken with so much unabashed passion. I huffed out a sigh, wiping away a few more tears. The sincerity on his face proved he really did believe what he was saying—that I was his _destiny. _This imprinting had a stronger hold over him than I realized.

"Jared, we—"

"I _love _you, Kim."

The desperation to shield myself from his words returned. Of all the things he had said to me today, _that_ was the most painful. It hurt like a punch to the gut, and almost knocked the wind out of me. It was the first time I'd heard him say the words aloud, and it was the last thing I wanted to hear right now.

"Jared, stop. _P__lease._ This is all the _imprint_ talking—you don't… you can't…"

My voice became weak and I couldn't continue. I felt another surge of pain wash over me as I realized how true my train of thought was. All I wanted to tell him over and over was _stop. _Just _stop _all of it, don't talk anymore, don't try to fix it…_ Please…enough. I can't handle anymore. _The small amount of strength I had regained disappeared and I was paralyzed by his declaration.

I began to cry again. Really cry. Doubled over, face buried in my hands, overwhelmed _crying._ Being right in front of him really reminded of me of what I was losing—what was never really mine to lose in the first place. I was just so _hurt_ and let down. I had been so _happy _with him_._ The nervous butterflies, the not knowing what to say, the days on the beach, the comfort, the _companionship. _It had all felt so _right_ and I was _truly_ happy for once.

_Why can't I just have that?_

_Why?_

_Why does it have to be so complicated for me?_

I felt my heart breaking as I asked myself these questions, realizing there wasn't an answer. These things just happened to me. Bad things just happened to me.

I continued to cry as Jared bent down to hold me. I didn't want to be there; I didn't want him to comfort me, but I knew after this it couldn't be the same.

I stopped to look into his eyes; his hard protective eyes that had somehow become soft and weak. He didn't have the words to comfort me, and I didn't have the words to comfort him. It was clearly a lost cause.

He held me so _closely_ against him, yet the truth was there, creating an invisible barrier between us.

I wished I could just somehow forget this happened and go back to how it was yesterday. When I didn't know, and when I thought he really did want me. But I knew I would never be that girl. I would never be the girl who _changed_ who she was; changed her morals and values for the sake of a guy. Imprinting was _wrong._ My brain struggled to remind my heart of that. I would _not_ be the girl who changed who she was. I was smarter than this, I couldn't just ignore this.

With as much as I had left, I pushed myself off of him without making eye contact and went back inside. His hand caught the door before I had it closed.

"_Kim, please…_"

_Please what?_ I asked in my head, my eyes begging him for an answer. _What more is there? _School was out, I would be leaving and he would be staying here, in La Push. There would be no point in extending the rest of my time here, and no point in returning home for something that was never really there. I wanted nothing more than to just leave; to finally _escape._

"_Stay…_"

The word hung in the air between us, our eyes searching one another's for answers. Neither of us said anything or moved an inch, making it feel as if time were standing still. Our thoughts were in exactly the same place at that moment. He knew as well as I did that this changed _everything. _We might never see each other again.

I shook my head, telling him no, telling myself _no_.

"We'll figure it out—we'll figure this out," he tried to assure, though he was clearly begging now.

I still couldn't speak. I knew if I opened my mouth the wrong words would come pouring out. So much of me wanted to say, _Okay, _but I knew it wouldn't be right. This wasn't right, it was _not _love.

I fought back the urge to give in when reached out and took my hand into his. His warm, soft hand where I had found comfort and solace in these past few weeks. My heart was giving out, crossing the border back to him, but I let go and broke eye contact, silently vowing I _wouldn't _cave in. I knew it would be just as hard for him to let this go, _he_ was the one under the _spell_ after all.

I remembered how he had described it to me. _Your whole purpose in life shifts to make her happy. _I knew it was true; he'd done nothing but try to make me happy since we'd been together. And I knew now it wouldn't be any different. It would be a low blow, but I needed to think about myself. I couldn't handle anymore of this. I needed him to let go, so I could too.

"You love me," I said flatly, repeating his words like a question.

He nodded silently; his eyes still pleading.

"You'll do what makes me happy." Again, it came out rhetorically.

Another silent nod, though he must have felt the need to reinforce just how true that was.

"_Anything_," he said.

I took a breath, finding the courage to break his heart, to break both of our hearts for the better.

"Then let me leave."


	11. Chapter 11

_**Kim:**_

The next day was spent packing. I didn't leave the house once, nor did I even see the light of day. I began packing months ago, but since Jared, I found myself doing less and less the more time we spent together. Separation wasn't something I liked to remind myself of back then, but now, I couldn't rush the process any faster if I tried.

I guessed the state of my bedroom reflected what the inside of my head might look like. Things that were once categorically arranged and prioritized, now looking as though a bomb had hit with no survivors. The irony was not lost on me as I crammed everything into sealed boxes, pushing them aside for later without too much thought—the same thing I did with my feelings.

My mom steered clear of me that day too, giving me the space I needed. She came home about an hour after Jared left the previous day to find me in my room in the midst of the typical heartbroken-teenager, end-of-the-world breakdown. Though I'm sure she could never have guessed the crazy details, I know she predicted he would break my heart eventually. She knew something was _off. _It's maternal instinct or something.

Consequently, I was subjected to overbearing-over-caring mom that first night, who checked on me no less than twenty times and kept bringing in plates full of comfort food. This situation was a first for both of us, so I'm guessing she was just going by what she'd seen in those romantic comedy movies. Too bad she was off genre; my life was more _fictional_ and _supernatural _right now.

Either way, talking about the whole thing was the last thing I wanted and she eventually caught on and just didn't bring it up again.

By the next morning I didn't even care about the logistics of the packing process. My mind basically conjured up a formula as simple as: belongings in boxes, plus rush, equals _escape. _I didn't really even consider what I needed or didn't need; I basically packed anything and everything I owned wherever they'd fit. Books, CDs and clothes were all overflowing out of broken cardboard boxes, firmly held together by duct tape.

_If only mending a broken heart was this simple_, I thought lamely.

I kept looking to distract myself, constantly needing a task at hand during my last days in La Push.

The night before I left, once everything was done and dusted, I sat in my bare room with nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs.

_Don't think,_ I kept telling myself.

I knew somewhere inside I was a little disappointed that I didn't hear from him; that he stopped trying. And it frustrated me to no end that I still wanted him despite the whole _imprinting_ thing. I wasn't sure he even knew _when_ I was leaving, let alone if he even cared anymore.

_You asked for it_, I reminded myself bitterly.

I laid on my bed in the dark, counting the rotations of my ceiling fan spinning around and around, waiting for sleep to come and drown me in oblivion.

Sometime between two-hundred and two-hundred-and-one spins, the sound of a wolf's howl pierced the silence of the night, effectively putting an end to my boredom.

My body went rigid in my bed. Suddenly I was nervous, excited and scared all at the same time. I knew it was _them_, but what did it mean? It sounded distant and strained. Like the wolf was in pain, maybe?

_Oh, God_, I thought, immediately imagining the worst.

I hadn't drawn my curtain open in days, and instantly fought the urge to rip my whole window out of its frame to see what might be happening. I knew I probably wouldn't be able to see anything in the dark, let alone _do_ anything, but something inside me needed to at least _check._

I knelt up onto my bed, making the _tiniest_ slit between the curtains with my finger and squinted into the distance, only to find nothing but trees. I leaned side to side, checking all angles of the forest, but I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.

I dropped back into a sitting position on my bed, and then my heart stopped.

I had been looking so far up and into the distance that I hadn't even noticed the _wolf _sitting on the ground right in front of my window. _Jared._ He was faced the other way, his back to me, shooting frantic glances all around the forest, just as I had been doing a moment ago.

Another howl sounded and his wolf-body tensed. He got up and took a few steps toward the forest, then quickly backtracked them to sit back down at my window. He repeated this a few more times, and I could hear him quietly whimpering in the process. It was as if he was conflicted on whether to stay or go.

_What is he doing?_

I didn't know what Quileute werewolves existed for, but whatever it was, I'm sure he must have been needed at that moment, so why wasn't he going? Why would he rather sit _here_ doing nothing, than go and help whoever was howling?

_Because he loves me_, I answered in my head silently. _No, Kim. Stop thinking about that._

The howling eventually stopped, and he lay back down on the ground, seeming to find the same comfortable spot in front of my window as the first night I unknowingly saw him here in wolf form.

_Does he sleep here every night or something?_

I watched him through the gap in my curtains as he fell asleep. I couldn't believe he was still here, sleeping outside my window, for God knows what reason, even after everything that had happened. He may not have tried to contact me, but he was still very much _present _right now.

I don't know how long I sat there watching him, but it must have been hours, because I could see daylight beginning to fade out the darkness. I shot a glance at my clock: 5:00 AM. I would be leaving in one hour.

I heard the sound of my mom's door creaking open and her footsteps coming towards my room. I quickly sat back down on my bed as she opened my door.

"Oh, you're up. I was just checking-" she said, then a smile found its way onto her face as she stared at me for a moment. "I can't believe you're actually leaving for _college_ today, Kim. _I'm so proud of you_."

I smiled back at her without much else to add. Somehow, hearing her say that had negated any last-minute second thoughts I might have been feeling over these past few hours watching Jared. Her words had brought me back to reality.

"I'll get breakfast ready," she said as she let my door fall quietly closed behind her.

I spent the next half an hour getting ready, and then joined my mom in the kitchen for breakfast. She talked while I chewed silently, staring at my plate and occasionally feigning interest in whatever she was rambling about.

I realized there was nothing complex about the situation now. I was sad. Simple as that. I wasn't fighting any urges to stay, or to try and fix this mess. I knew I had to leave, this is what I had always wanted, to _escape. _And college is where I needed to be. I had accepted that this would be it, but it didn't make it any easier. It was still sad all the same.

We had already loaded everything into the car the night before, so once breakfast was cleaned up the plan was to hit the road as early as possible to beat traffic.

"Ready, Kim?" my mom asked, already holding our front door open for me.

I stood still for a moment before answering.

"Just one second," I told her quickly, spinning around back toward my room.

"I'll wait for you in the car!" she called back.

I went back into my room and quietly slid the curtain back open. He was still there, sleeping. I pressed my fingers against the window, feeling my insides weakening and a single tear rolling down my cheek.

"Bye Jared," I whispered against the glass.

* * *

_**Jared:**_

_You're in trouble_.

Seth's thoughts as well as his approaching footsteps woke me up from my slumber on the ground outside Kim's room; a place I had actually grown comfortable sleeping these past few weeks.

_Yeah, yeah, I know_, I admitted submissively. For the first time, I had disobeyed an Alpha's command.

_It wasn't that bad, anyway,_ he told me proudly, his thoughts allowing me to catch glimpses of a coven of vampires being ripped apart by he and Jake alone.

_Good job, kid_, I congratulated flatly after being presented with his eventual play-by-play recount.

_Thanks. But you're still in trouble._

I rolled my eyes. He didn't get it. I couldn't leave Kim. Not when her days here were numbered.

_Sam send you here to come and get me? _I asked, already predicting possible punishments_. Double shifts. With Lea__h_. I shuddered at the thought.

_Nope. Just to tell you you're in trouble_.

I could feel Seth trying to shield his thoughts. I was in trouble, like he said, but Sam had sent him here primarily to check if I was okay. Sam had tried to shield his thoughts from me these days, but I knew he felt sorry for me for essentially having my imprint deny me. They all did. No one knew what to do anymore. Sam kept trying with Emily when she first denied him, but for me, it was a lost cause. Emily was just confused by imprinting and was scared of the unfamiliar. But Kim understood it. Kim understood it even better than I did, and conclusively asked me to let her leave. And I could never deny her what she wanted; I didn't have it in me.

Seth pretended to be oblivious to my thoughts, unsure of how to comfort me. I hadn't talked about it much to anyone, especially to little Seth who was still so young and naïve.

_So do you just watch her all night or something? _he asked, truly curious as well as taking my mind off the subject.

_Not really,_ I answered. _She's drawn the curtains closed this week, so I can't exactly watch her. And she doesn't know I'm here. But still, I just cant…_

_Yeah,_ he agreed knowingly, without needing me to continue.

It must've sounded pretty masochistic to him that I still slept here every night, knowing that any day now she would be leaving like she planned, and I would be left behind, unwanted.

_Unwanted._

Actually thinking the word was like taking a jab to the gut. Kim didn't want me. She didn't care anymore. I had hurt her and she didn't—

_Look_. Seth's mental voice distracted my depressing train of thought, as he focused in on something above my head.

He moved closer to the house, squinting and gesturing for me to follow his vision.

_What? _I asked, following suit by taking a closer look inside.

For the first time in a week, Kim's curtains were drawn wide open. At first I was confused. I wasn't sure if I was even looking into _Kim's _room at that moment.

And then realization washed over me. We were staring into Kim's bare room which now held only her bed, an empty desk and an open wardrobe with nothing but metal hangers inside.

All her belongings were gone.

Everything, gone.

Kim. _Gone._

I sunk to the floor, a loud whine escaping me.

_She's gone_, I thought aloud, wincing at the actual realization. I didn't even get to say goodbye. She just _left... _She really _didn't_ care anymore. It was really _over_.

_Yeah... but look,_ Seth continued, his face inches from the window.

I turned back around lifelessly to see what had caught his attention now. I saw it in his thoughts before I did with my own eyes, and instantly rushed back up to where he stood, focusing in on what he had discovered.

There were faint fingerprints marked into the foggy window, as well as a tiny nose print.

Confusion crossed my thoughts as I struggled to understand what exactly I was looking at.

_I think she was watching you? _Seth offered.

Kim had seen me?

_She must have pressed her face and hand against the glass_, he continued.

_When did that happen? _I wondered to myself in a panic. I had _missed_ an opportunity to talk to her?

_I'm guessing not long ago, because it only just got foggy_, Seth answered matter-of-factly.

I stared at the tiny handprint with every emotion running through my body. I imagined Kim, early this morning, sitting on her bed watching me, pressing her hand against the glass as if silently waving goodbye.

I could feel my breath coming slower and faster at the same time, my heart _pounding_, threatening to explode as I stared at this physical mixed message she had sent me. Did she still feel something?

_There's still hope!_ Seth's voice, once again, cut into my thoughts.

_What do you mean?_ I asked, feeling vulnerable and confused enough to listen to him.

_You still have a chance!_ Seth was the eternal optimist, but he had no idea how much of a lost cause this really was. Naïve little kid.

_Seth_,_ I cant_, I explained. _She asked me to let her leave._

The memory of her words replayed in my head, hurting like an already lodged knife, twisting in my heart. He didn't understand how much you couldn't deny an imprint what she wanted.

His trademark wolf-grin crept onto his sandy face as he answered my concerns.

_But that doesn't mean you can't follow her…  
_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Kim:**_

The drive to college was long and numbing—but maybe that was just me. Jared had been right; the travel distance did turn out to be about three hours all up. Longer for us, on account of my mom's persistent appetite. She tried to keep a flowing conversation going, without much success; I mostly just slept.

Once we arrived, it took about five hundred trips back and forth between our car and my room to unload all my stuff. In my frantic, emotionally unstable state, I ended up packing almost my entire room into those boxes, thus had a lot more stuff to move in than probably necessary.

With a final hug and kiss goodbye, I watched my mom turn out of the car park, leaving me to start on the epic journey they call _college_, just like I had planned from the beginning. It's ironic the way things worked out in the end. It's almost as if my short-lived relationship with Jared had never even happened, and my life fell into place the exact way it was supposed to from the start.

_Yay… _I thought flatly, taking in the atmosphere around me. _You've finally escaped, Kim._

Masses of other students were laughing and nervously navigating themselves around the campus, introducing themselves to one another excitedly, while I stood in the middle of it all, feeling like I wasn't even really _there. _It's funny how I probably brought more stuff than anyone else, yet I could actually _feel_ that I had left something behind—despite all the too-full boxes.

_Your heart_, I thought lamely. _You left your heart behind._

I made my way back into my room after seeing my mom off, and quietly pushed my door closed. I took a seat on my bed that was parallel with another on the other side of the room, momentarily wondering about my roommate and what she would be like.

_Poor girl_, I thought. I wasn't going to be much fun to live with. I'd be the weird, quiet girl who had too much junk in the room and a history that included a hometown-werewolf not-really-ex-boyfriend. What an uncomfortable first conversation that would be.

I sliced open the flaps of one of the boxes in front of me, only to realize it was half filled with stuffed toys. I had _seriously _been spaced out when I was packing all of this. I shut it back closed and pushed it aside to find the stuff that I actually needed.

Whilst bent over, deep into a pile of clothes, I heard the door fling open and bounce off the wall. I shot my head back up at the sound to see what at first, looked like a floating box. A second later, I realized there was a tiny figure carrying that box, whose head I couldn't see behind it.

"Need a hand?" I asked.

"_Please!_" my new roommate squeaked.

I hurried over to her, taking as much weight of the box as I could manage as we gently lowered it to the floor next to her bed.

She had sandy blonde hair, pulled into a messy ponytail and bright blue eyes framed with thick lashes. She looked like a little doll.

"Thanks," she said, dusting her hands off. "I'm Dee."

"Kim," I replied, taking in her tiny height. She was even smaller than _me._

"So I guess we're roommates," she said, after a silent moment past between us. "You're not a weirdo are you?" she joked with a little giggle, easing the tension.

"Depends," I answered, then let out a small laugh, remembering my earlier concerns about having my roommate think I was a weirdo. "No, no, I'm normal, I think."

"Good," she responded, pushing her box against the wall, "Because I'd hate to be cooped up with someone who's always bringing boys back to the room at all hours of the night."

_Oh, wow_, I thought.

"Trust me," I told her. "You definitely won't have that problem with me."

_Definitely__ not,_ I added in my head.

We talked a little more about our majors and hometowns, trying to get all the trivial, but necessary first-introduction stuff out of the way. And then she started on the topic I silently hoped would never come up…

"So, do you have a boyfriend?" she asked.

As soon as she asked, of course, my thoughts went straight to him. And I guessed my tone must have been sad when I answered, "No."

She nodded, seeming to understand by my reaction that was a touchy subject.

"Typical moving-to-college break-up," she assumed, as if she knew my situation all too well.

_Typical,_ I repeated in my head. _Yeah... right. Werewolves. So typical._

I didn't deny what she guessed, though. I figured it would be easier for her to assume that than for me to even try to explain my situation. I wouldn't have even termed what I had experienced a "break-up." It seemed a lot more like a breakdown. A mental breakdown.

"So what was he like?" she asked, without hesitation.

"Who?" I asked, caught off guard.

"The guy you broke up with before coming here."

I shrugged. "I don't know. Just… a normal kind of guy, I guess."

_Normal. _What a lie that had been, in every sense of the word.

"Nothing special, hey?" she extracted from my lame response.

"Oh, he was _special_, alright." Half human-half werewolf kind of special, to be exact.

"Fair enough," she chuckled, needing no further elaboration.

"What about you?" I asked, desperately trying to draw the attention away from me. "Boyfriend?"

"No, no. I'm a free bird," she answered, seeming as though she was _trying_ to sound casual.

I didn't say anything at first, trying to read the real expression behind her words. I guess she must've realized, because then she added, "Typical moving-to-college break-up."

"Ah," was all I said, trying not to push any further.

"But I'm not bitter," she continued with a smile, even though I hadn't asked. "That crazy-out-of-this-world kind of love is gonna find me one day…"

I had to laugh a little at her optimism. She was so cheery and happy, like a little puppy.

I picked apart her choice of words in my head. Crazy-out-of-this-world kind of love is exactly how I would have described _imprinting. _Definitely crazy. And definitely out of this world.

It was apparent that neither of us cared to take that conversation any further, so we started back on other random things and eventually ended up unpacking in the process of getting to know one another.

It was a lot more difficult for me, seeing as I probably had double the amount of possessions she did. She had finished up unpacking long before I was even half way through, so she just sat talking to me while I continued.

"You know," she mused, as she ripped open a bag of chips, sitting on her bed, "I almost didn't make it into this college."

"Really?"

"Yep. I got a rejection letter at first, because I didn't make the grades or something. It's pretty black and white, it is. You're either in or you're out, once those big guys have decided, there's no ifs ands or buts," she told me matter-of-factly, while nibbling away on her chips.

"So…?" I pressed, waiting for her to continue.

"So then, I guess they gave me a second chance. Hardly ever happens, I hear. But a week later, I get a call and another letter sent in the mail, and _voila_!" she said, using hand gestures for emphasis, "I'm officially enrolled, crummy grades and all."

"Wow."

"Wow, indeed. I didn't apply anywhere else either, so I'm thanking my lucky stars for this. Someone up there must love me," she said, pointing her finger to the ceiling.

"Must've been a relief," I said, imagining where I would be if I hadn't been accepted here. I didn't want to think too much into it, because I knew where my thoughts would eventually stray. _La Push_.

"You have no idea. Proudest moment of my life, it was. I even framed the letter and brought it here with me," she said with a smile.

"Are you serious?" I asked, laughing.

Instead of answering, she was leaning over her bed, rummaging through a half opened duffle that sat on the floor in front of her, while chips spilled out of their bag onto her sheets.

"Here," she said, passing me the silver frame.

She wasn't kidding. She had seriously _framed_ her acceptance letter and brought it here with her. I thought she had been exaggerating.

I was about to crack another joke when I stopped short at the sight of her full name.

"Destiny?" I asked. "Is that your real name?"

"Ha, yeah," she said, a little embarrassed. "Don't even start with that, I got enough about my stupid name back home. It's just Dee if anyone asks, 'kay?"

I didn't answer; I was already caught up in my own thoughts. I barely noticed her hand waving in front of my unblinking eyes while she called my name, trying to reclaim my attention.

"_Kiiiim,_" she cooed. "_Kimmmmyyy. Earth to Kimmy._"

I'm pretty sure she was throwing chips at me while doing this too, but I couldn't hear her anymore. Because in that moment, the corny coincidence of the situation washed over me…

_Destiny_ had been given a second chance.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Kim:**_

Over the course of our first day together, Dee and I had actually formed a pretty close friendship. She was really easy to warm up to, and wasn't like most of the other girls I'd gone to high school with—which was definitely a good thing. I didn't feel as socially retarded around her like I always did with the other girls at school, because she just naturally exuded this air of cheeriness. We spent the day just hanging out in our room, doing a lot of nothing.

"Go fish!"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Go _fish_!" she yelled, throwing her cards down on the table, wearing a proud smile on her face.

"Dee, we're playing Blackjack."

A pause.

"Oh."

Her brows creased in concentration, refocusing on her cards, while her legs continued to swing under our makeshift table. The table she'd constructed out of cardboard boxes and actually marked as "TABLE" with a thick black marker.

While waiting for her to sort her cards out, I inspected her chipped nail polish. Glittery blue, liquorice black, cherry red and neon pink. None of them were matching.

"Why are you nails painted all different colors, Dee?"

Her mouth pulled up into a little smile. "It's not fair to the other colors if you only pick one," she informed me. Then her face became serious. _"That_, my friend, is called _racism_."

I giggled at her logic and quietly wondered what constant exposure to her personal philosophies would do to my IQ.

Another minute passed and she still hadn't done anything.

"You can count on your fingers if you really need to," I teased as she continued to study her cards.

_"Patience,_ oh impatient one."

I waited.

And waited.

Finally, she huffed out a sigh. "Okay, this blows!" And with that, her hands came down on the table, which collapsed under the pressure and resulted in three flat cardboard squares in the centre of the room.

"Guess I won," I mused with a smirk on my face.

"Yeah, yeah," she mocked bitterly, retreating to the fridge to grab a can soda.

"And since you lost, you can make us a new table, or else we'll be eating on the floor…again."

"Gosh, you'd think between the two of us, and all the crap we've brought, we'd have a half decent range of furniture in here," she said, as we both took a second to survey the room.

It was true. We were both pathetically unprepared. I'd brought an abundance of clothes and junk, while she'd brought possibly the largest personal collection of books I'd ever seen, and not much more. She even had more books than _I_ did, which was definitely saying something.

And all we had to show for ourselves furniture-wise, were numerous empty cardboard boxes.

"Think you could make a chair out of a cardboard box too?" I asked.

"Oh, is that a _challenge_, Miss Kimpapotomous?" she answered.

I could already tell she was envisioning construction plans in her head.

I laughed, nodding my head. My roommate was _too_ cool.

"I hope you never change, Dee," I said randomly.

She looked at me a little puzzled, and then smiled. "Okay, Kim."

I laughed a little at how weird that must have sounded, and clarified. "I mean—I hope you don't change to try to fit in around here, 'cause you're heaps cool." _And I wouldn't want to live through anti-social high school again_, I added in my head.

She looked at me with incredulity, probably wondering if I was serious. "Okay, well since we're having some kind of Oprah moment here, I don't intend to change for anyone. And you shouldn't either! I hate when people do that—change who they are for other people…especially when girls do it for guys. Can you say _desperate_?"

I laughed at this. Those had been exactly my thoughts about the girls back at school. I always took pride in knowing I hadn't changed for any guy—even Jared.

And yet, look where that had landed me…

I stared off into space, contemplating pensively, until Dee brought me back to the moment.

"Right, I'll need another box for this chair I'm making. Got one to spare?" she asked, laughing. "Ha, that was a joke. Get it? Because you've brought like a zillion boxes with you… and I asked if you had one to _spare…_ because you have like a—"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Very funny."

She was still laughing as I dug back into the back of our closet, pulling out the box of stuffed toys and other odd junk I'd unintentionally packed. I opened the flaps and started to toss things out, one by one, onto my bed.

Dee rolled her eyes and shuffled over to where I was, leaning over the box to grab it by its edges.

"What are you—"

"This is quicker," she said as she turned the whole box upside down, its entire contents pouring out onto the floor.

I shook my head at her impatience. She was so giddy and cheery all the time. She seriously reminded me of a little puppy.

"You know," she began, "After I'm done with these chairs, I could probably build us a pretty wicked fort out of the rest of these boxes."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves now, hey?"

She got to work on her "chair," while I fished around in the pile of stuffed toys. I hadn't seen so many of these since I was probably twelve years old.

I stared at the mountain of fluff for a second, and recognized a stuffed Quileute werewolf sat atop of the pile. My dad had won it at a local fair for me when I was seven. Little did I know at the time, those werewolves actually existed.

Immediately, a sea of thoughts I had been trying to forget flooded through my mind at the sight of this toy. _Werewolves. Imprinting. Forced love. Jared. Jared. Jared._

I glared bitterly at it, grabbing it by the head and tossing it back into the wardrobe. I couldn't even bear to look at it.

"What's that?" Dee asked.

I realized the sound of her wrestling cardboard had ceased, and she was now staring at me intently; her head cocked to the side.

_Damn, she saw the wolf…_

"Nothing, just some toy wolf I—"

"No," she cut off. _"That_…"

She was pointing and squinting at something in the pile of junk heaped in front of me.

I followed her line of vision to see what had caught her attention, but couldn't tell what she was focused on from where I sat on the other side of the pile.

She squinted harder, slowly turning her head—almost upside down, like she was…reading something?

And then she spoke.

"Mis—sus—Ja—red—"

_"NO!_" I yelled, throwing my body onto the pile.

The second she said his name aloud, I realized what she had just seen.

My childhood _diary_.

I had scrawled my name all over the covers, with Jared's surname tacked onto the end of my own. I had written multiple combinations of our names all over the front and back surfaces—and probably the inside too—in my hopeless love crazed teenager years.

"What was _that?_" she asked again, an expectant smile on her face. She was _beaming._

"Nothing," I said, tightening my grip around the pink hardcover book under my stomach; my limbs sprawled out across the floor.

"Doesn't _look_ like nothing," she said, quirking her brow. "You practically just _ninja _launched yourself across the room, Kim!"

I tried to sit back into a more relaxed position, smoothing out my hair. "Nothing—it's nothing."

She was giggling and shaking her head. "I'll figure it out," she said confidently. "People do _not_ just break out ninja moves over _nothing_."

I knew this wasn't the end of it. She probably _would_ figure it out, sooner or later.

"Shut up and make your chair, Destiny._"_

* * *

_**Jared:**_

_Tell me _why_ we aren't driving, again?_

Seth's remarks were seriously like a frequent _buzzing _in my head. We had been running, and backtracking and retracing our steps for a while now, in my frantic attempt to somehow win Kim back over. The whole way, he didn't stop talking. Or thinking.

_Tell _me_ why you insisted on coming, again?_ I asked him in return.

_Because it's exciting! It's like we're being sent on a ninja mission! Running across the borders to bring back the…_

I tuned out after that, rolling my eyes. Sometimes, it was just easier to pretend I couldn't hear him and his twisted logic. I feared that it might be damaging to my IQ. And my mental health.

Following Kim's scent proved to be a lot trickier than I had anticipated. Though, it's not like I had gone into this—chasing her across state lines—with a plan. It just kind of clicked in my head as soon as Seth suggested the option. I didn't even know what I was supposed to do once I got there. But she hadn't said I couldn't follow her, and I wasn't about to give up. I just worried that this still might not work.

_It _will_ work out_, Seth assured. _Somehow, it will. Imprinting is your destiny! You can't fight destiny! Well—I guess you _can_ fight it—like Kim is—but you can't win. You just can't. My dad says…_

Again, I tuned him out. It was hopeful for Seth to believe in this whole _destiny_ babble, but I was beginning to think Kim and I might be the exception to the rule. She was definitely fighting destiny right now, and doing a pretty damn good job.

_...and either way, it doesn't mean you can't just be her _friend._ Just because she rejected you as her boyfriend or whatever, doesn't mean you can sit on the sidelines as her_ friend, _right? _I tuned Seth back in, catching the jist of his latest theories.

_What do you mean?_ I asked.

_Well, imprinting means you're meant to be there for the girl however she needs you, right? You'd be happy with anything, as long as she's happy. So you can just be her friend if that's what it takes to keep her in…_

_NO! _I instinctively thought, not caring to hear the rest.

_No?_ he asked.

_I can't—I couldn't bear that. I couldn't be just her_ friend._ I need to be _with_ Kim. To __know__ she's mine and _only _mine—_

_But, _he cut in, _Billy and my dad__ say you're supposed to be happy as long as she is. No matter what role you take in her life. Friend, brother or—_

_Well, I…can't do that_, is all I came out with. I couldn't explain it. I just knew I couldn't only be her friend.

This seemed to have momentarily stunned us both, as we continued to travel in silence.

Her scent was faint and fading as I ran too fast for myself across the lands. My steps and lunges grew, while my nose struggled to register her scent at the same speed. It was tough because she had travelled by car, so her scent wasn't as fresh, and two massive wolves running on open roads might be a little problem for passing drivers, so we were stuck trying to find our way through trees and dirt.

So far, we had gathered that they had made quite a few pit stops for food along the way. Which wasn't very helpful to me, as Seth insisted on picking up a few things to eat for himself at those very places.

_You know what's funny? _Seth asked, breaking the silence a few minutes later.

I didn't even register curiosity at his thoughts this time. But of course, he took my silence as me willing him to continue…

_You__ never saw Kim for all those years. Like all through school, in a town as small as ours, you_ never_ even __saw__ her face once._

I slowed down a little, feeling my anger grow at his words, failing to see their relevance.

_And_ what_ is funny about that to you? _I prodded, daring him to continue.

Of course, he wasn't intimidated, and continued with his little revelation.

_Well, you never saw her then. Ever. And now when I see through your eyes, you don't see anyone else—you don't see other girl's faces. Even when they're right in front of you. It's like the exact reverse of before. Like…the whole time she was the only one missing…and now…she's the__ only__ one you can see._

_Huh. _I had never thought about it that way. _I guess you're right_.

Imprinting on Kim had literally turned my world around, it seemed. I guess there was something poetically romantic about that.

_Interesting…uh, observation there…Seth._

I wasn't sure what else to say, not wanting to go all mushy on him with my real thoughts. We _were_ men after all. There was no need to talk all mushily about our feelings.

_It's kind of beautiful_, he said, contradicting my theory.

I laughed to myself a little. Seth was proving to be a lot more insightful than I ever gave him credit for. He was such a softie—such an unabashed believer. I couldn't wait for the day this little sucker found an imprint of his own.

He contemplated these thoughts of mine, to which he answered,

_Don't worry, I'll meet my Destiny.  
_


	14. Chapter 14

___**Kim:**_

Positive that Dee had fallen fast asleep early that night, I sat cross legged in my bed with a flimsy sheet draped over my head and a flash light in hand, re-discovering secrets from my past in the form of my childhood diary.

I turned each page with both hesitation and excitement, wincing and melting in disbelief as I took in the words I had written all those years ago. Paragraph after paragraph, page after page,

Jared.

Jared.

_Jared._

The things I wrote were so desperate and hopeful, so cutesy and naive, but most of all…so _honest._

I forgot I was once this girl_._ This girl who believed whole-heartedly in _true love_. Who believed in _soul mates_ and out-of-this-world epic love stories. I stared at the page in front me; scribbled love hearts, combination names, dreams, quotes and wishful thinking. Nothing about pain and suffering, nothing about being ignored. Just _hope_ and…_love_. Childhood-sweetheart kind of love, but nonetheless, _love._

I continued to flip the pages in chunks, every space filled with soppy lines, heartfelt poems and mushy song lyrics, all paralleling the way I felt. And then…it just stops. The pages towards the end become blank. I can actually _see_ my hopes physically depleting; nothing left to give—nothing left to write.

Somewhere between these pages, I had given up and stopped trying. I became pessimistic and went out of my way to close myself up, to _try_ and go by unnoticed by everyone. Including him. Especially him.

_Life isn't a fairytale_, was the last thing I wrote.

It was scrawled in big black letters, taking up the entire page. Nothing following, no explanation…just those four words.

I remember reciting this to myself repeatedly in high school. That's when everything changed—when _I _changed. I learned to control my desperate emotions—to jerk them back into place when they inevitably became too overwhelming, while _ignoring_ the stuttering of my heartbeat every time he was near. I had made such an effort to feel everything in reverse, and every single day became such a fight against my feelings.

I thought about the imaginary division between my head and my heart. My heart always begging me to do one thing, and my head always telling me _no. Be smart. Don't get excited. Don't get your hopes up. Leave. Walk away. _

_Don't ever become one of those girls who changes who she is._

Well, I was never a ditzy idiot who faked a bubbly personality, but I definitely _did_ change who I was. I forced myself to stop trying, forced myself to ignore my feelings and forced myself to be logical about things. That's what it had come down to. So much _force_; a constant internal _fight _against the girl I really was underneath it all. The girl who _did_ hope that one day, Jared would turn around and fall in love with me.

But I changed.

Everything about me had become so _logical_. Everything had to make sense or it just wasn't right—it wasn't real. That's why I walked away. _Imprinting_ wasn't real. _Imprinting _wasn't right. So I left him behind, left apart of _me _behind for the sake of my life being _normal_ and making _sense_. I'd convinced myself I'd be happier this way…_as long as my life made sense. _

My thoughts became muddled; frantic, yet lagging as I felt like I was having some sort of epiphany, and was getting closer to answers. Like some sort of "_aha_" moment where everything would suddenly make sense was just a few conclusions away.

_Werewolves. Imprinting. Jared. Destiny._

These words chased one another around in my mind as I tried to fit them together, attempting to find some kind of logic that would trigger some sort of obvious revelation in my head.

Suddenly, the sheet was ripped off of me and my hair fell in front of my face.

"_What_ are you _doing_?" Dee's voice, full of suspicion, was right in my ear as she peered over my shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of the diary in front of me.

I slammed the book shut and flicked the torch off.

"Are you _praying_ or something?" she asked, taking a step back; her amused face dimly lit by the moon shining through the window.

"No, just…meditating," I answered, carefully sliding the diary under my covers.

"Uh…_huh_," she said, folding her arms, looking at me expectantly.

_She thinks I'm crazy,_ I thought._ My crazy roommate thinks I'm crazy._

"_Meditating_…in the middle of the night…under a blanket teepee," she accused, with a smirk on her face.

I shrugged, motioning to lie back down in bed, hoping she would just let my strange behavior slide and go back to sleep. Of course, I could only hope.

"This is about Jared, isn't it?" The decibel of her voice told me she was still standing near, maybe even leaning right over my bed. "You were reading that diary, weren't you? That pink, 'Mrs Jared—'"

"I don't want to talk about it, Dee," I muffled into my pillow, cutting her off.

It went silent, and I hoped that meant she had given up and crawled back into her own bed. I found comfort in this, relaxing my body, and started to drift off to sl—

"You still _love_ him, don't you?"

Once again, her voice was loud. Near.

I groaned.

She gasped. "You _do!_"

I groaned again, rolling over to face the wall beside me.

"So…" she continued, and I felt her weight suddenly shifting onto my bed, indicating this conversation was far from over. "What seems to be standing in your way?"

I still didn't acknowledge her, silently answering her question in my head.

_Werewolves. Imprinting. A zillion miles._

I sighed. "Nothing, Dee. Go back to bed."

"Okay," she answered after a silent second, "But just so you know…life can _sometimes_ be a fairytale."

It took me a second before my brain registered her words. I shot up in place, staring wide-eyed at her climbing back into her own bed. "_What?_" I asked, finally.

She giggled. "You heard me," she said, rolling over to face her own wall. "Unlike _you_, _I_ believe in fairytale endings."

"You _read_ my _diary_?" I asked, shocked, turning on my bedside lamp.

"Nope."

"No?"

"I saw that one page flick open when you tackled that mountain of stuff earlier. That's all I saw…except for the whole Kim loves Jared, Kim for Jared, Mrs Jared—"

"Okay!" I said, cutting her off again, trying to save myself from any more humiliation.

"By the way, how _long_ have you liked him, anyway?" she mused, "That diary of yours looks like it's seen better days."

"A while," I answered, softly, and then added, "…since I was six."

She was quiet, which was unexpected. I was sure she would bark out a laugh at that pathetic confession, but surprisingly, she didn't.

"So, why didn't it work out?" she asked, for once sounding genuinely sympathetic.

I looked down ruefully at my hands, unable to find the words to explain.

"It just got…" _Crazy. Insane. Werewolfy. _"Complicated."

"But…you still love him?"

"Yes."

"But…he doesn't love you," she guessed, knowingly.

I hesitated for a second, then internally scolded myself for even having to think twice. "He does."

"Wait…" she responded. "So what's the problem?"

I sighed, feeling myself about to give in. I really hadn't had a chance to talk about it to anyone, and thought it might feel relieving to actually speak my real thoughts aloud for once.

Obviously, I couldn't talk about the whole situation in its entirety, but at this point, any advice might help. Even coming from Dee.

"He…thinks he loves me," I started, "But in a way… he's being forced."

I wondered if that would make any kind of sense to her.

"What? Like an arranged marriage?" she asked, confused.

"N-no," I answered, trying to figure out how to explain it. "Something…inside him… is forcing him to love me." _Werewolf gene_, I added silently.

"Something _inside_ him…is _forcing_ him to _love_ you," she repeated, enunciating each word slowly. She looked confused for a second, probably contemplating whether I was serious or not, and then she continued. "But isn't that what love is? When you can't _help_ but love someone? Because something _inside _you won't let you stop loving them?"

I paused for a second, taking that all in. She _was_ making sense in a way, but still, _imprinting_ didn't really make sense to me. I didn't answer her question, figuring it was just one of those rhetorical Dee-questions that just gets put out there to make you think. Which is what I did, before continuing.

"He just—we just got… _lost_," I explained, dejectedly.

I suppose that made sense. True-love and imprinting-love lines blurred somewhere in our big mess of a relationship.

"You got…lost," she repeated, probably processing my words in her head.

I nodded, adding, "It just…stopped making _sense_."

"But you love each other," she pressed.

I nodded, wondering how she would interpret all of this.

She was silent for a few moments before she spoke again. "Then, who cares!"

"What?" I asked, taken back by her intensity.

"Who cares if it doesn't make sense? If you _love_ each other, like _real_ love, then _who cares_ if it doesn't make sense, Kim! Not everything in the world is logical. That doesn't mean it doesn't have the right to _exist_!"

"But—"

"Rainbows," she said, cutting me off.

"What?"

"Rainbows," she repeated, "They make no frickin' sense, and no one knows why they're there, but they are a _beautiful_ thing."

"Actually, they happen when light shines onto droplets of moisture in—"

"Aw, Kim!" she whined. "_Why_ must everything be so _logical_ with you?"

"I don't… know," I answered softly, my earlier self-reflective thoughts on this topic resurfacing.

"So, you broke up because his love didn't make _sense_?" she extracted, "That was _it_?"

I nodded silently, as memories of that awful day washed back into to my mind.

"And did he know you loved him all that time? From when you were six?" she asked, curiously.

"No," I answered, "We never spoke. He didn't even know who I was."

"Oh…kay, you weirdo," she said, chuckling. "So, tell me, what makes sense about _that?_"

"About what?" I asked.

"You say _his_ love doesn't make sense, but _youuuu,_" she accused, stretching out the word, "Fell in _love_ at the age of _six_ with someone you never even _talked_ to! With someone who didn't even know who you _were_! _That _does _not_ make sense. It actually sounds a bit s_talker_ like to _me._"

She was giggling by the time she finished.

"I was not a stalker!" I countered, quickly, "I just _loved_ him. A lot. I don't know why. I couldn't… help it." The last part came out almost inaudible, more as a quiet confession to myself.

"_Exactly_ my point," she answered smugly. "Something _inside_ you made you love him, despite his ignorance_._"

Her expression was smug, challenging me to argue her point. I was momentarily stunned that _she_ was showing me the light in this situation, and admittedly didn't have much more to argue with.

"Oblivion," I corrected, lamely, feeling a little defensive of him. "Not ignorance."


	15. Chapter 15

_**Jared:**_

_Okay, _Seth started,_ Let's go over this again._

We were _still_ finding our way to Kim's college, mentally strategizing my grand entrance in which I would _not_ melt like butter and tell Kim nothing but _I love you_, _I need you, I want you back, _over and over again. Kim was a _smart_ girl; a _logical_ girl, I needed to explain this whole imprinting thing to her, to help her make _sense _of it to truly accept it—to accept me. I had to do this _her_ way if I wanted to keep her.

_Imprinting is_ not_ just about reproduction,_ I recited, to which Seth rolled his eyes.

_I still can't believe you explained it like that_, he mumbled.

_Not helping, Seth._

_Okay, fine,_ he continued, _What else are you gonna say?_

_Imprinting is stronger than people-love,_ I quoted, _It's more absolute, and involves way more love than people-love._

_Maybe you should find another term for 'people-love,' _he interrupted,_ It sounds kinda—_

_Seth!_

_My bad, _he quietly added, _Keep going, this is fun, it feels like you're rehearsing for an inter—_

_Seth!_ I yelled, frustrated, yet again.

_Okay, keep going, Jared,_ he encouraged sheepishly.

I sifted through my thoughts, finding my place in the speech we had been preparing for the last half an hour, hoping to God it would make sense, and she would still love me despite how crazy it all might sound.

_Imprinting means you're supposed to be happy with whatever the girl needs you to be_, I repeated, as rehearsed, _But I don't think I can be with you as anything _but_ your boyfriend. Because you mean _more_ to me than just being my imprint, or the person I'm supposed to protect or whatever. You…you're…_

I felt like I was actually talking to her now, and felt a shiver run down my spine at the thought of actually trying to _define_ in words what Kim meant to me. All I could come up with was

…_everything._

Suddenly it washed over me exactly how much I would be losing if I lost Kim for good this time. Everything. I would be losing _everything_. Imprinting on Kim had become my reason for…existence. That's essentially what the whole imprinting concept was. So what would happen if she weren't in my life anymore? Would I have no reason to…exist?

That's what it felt like right now.

_Convinced me,_ Seth chimed in happily, referring to my overly rehearsed, imperfect speech.

As we ran, human scents became stronger, meaning we were getting closer. We'd been running through trees and roads for the last hour, away from any people. Finally, I saw a road sign directing the way to the town of her college.

_Think we're getting closer,_ Seth guessed, mirroring my thoughts. _Are you starting to get nervous now?_

I didn't answer.

_Like, this is it,_ he affirmed, _The moment you've been waiting for. It all comes down to—_

_Seth!_

_Sorry, boss_, he mumbled.

The truth was, I was getting nervous. Doubts were beginning to creep into my head the closer we got, and I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest with every lunge I took. For someone with destiny on my side, I still felt like I might be fighting a losing battle.

We continued to run in silence; me prepping myself quietly, and Seth too scared to say the wrong thing, and accidently end up discouraging me. I recited my arguments in my head, knowing very well this had a good chance of completely failing, but feeling as though I had no better option right now.

I could actually see lights now, meaning we were getting closer to the town's entrance. We both subconsciously sped up our pace at this realization. It was as if the place would slip away if we didn't get there as soon as possible. The silent concentration was once again shattered when Seth spoke.

_Um, Jared?_

_What, Seth? What now? _I asked, annoyed. We were so close now, so close to the college, so close to _Kim. _We had been planning and running for the last hundred years, what _more_ could he have to ask me?

And then he answered.

_Don't you think we need clothes?

* * *

_

_**Kim:**_

I lay in bed, my feet shaking and my mind _buzzing._ There were so many thoughts in my head, and so much energy just building up and circulating throughout my body. Dee and I had decided to go back to sleep after much more relationship analysis, but I just couldn't get our conversation out of my mind. I don't think she realized how many more feelings and thoughts she had triggered in my head with her words. I kept checking the neon lit clock beside me, but if anything, it seemed as though time was going _slower. _Backwards, even.

I just wanted it to be morning already; I wanted to talk to someone; _anyone_. Now that I had finally opened up to someone about it, I just wanted to keep trying to understand it. There were still unanswered questions in my head, but now, there was _hope. _I clutched onto my diary, holding it close to myself as I tried to fall asleep. The sooner I fell asleep, the sooner morning would come. And the sooner morning would come, the sooner I could do something. _Anything_. The silence of the night was deafening, as the entire dorm was deep in slumber.

I stared at the ceiling, wondering about Jared. What was he doing? _How_ was he doing? What happens when an imprint bails on their wolf? I wondered if he missed me as much as I missed him. I wasn't a hundred percent sure if we could work this all out, but I knew we didn't have a chance unless we actually _talked. _Properly. I felt a pang of guilt at the memory of our last conversation. All I could remember were my tears, his begging and my leaving. I didn't even try to listen for an explanation. It just all sounded so wrong that I shut it all out as soon as it went beyond logic.

So much lost opportunity where we could have talked. Just talked about it and figured it out, before I made such rash decisions. I felt like I just needed reassurance that I should've given this all a chance. All I wanted to do now was _talk_ about it. To _anyone…_

"Pssst, Dee!" I whispered. Loudly.

Her reply came in the sound of her muffling something incoherent into her pillow.

"Are you awake?" I continued.

More muffling.

I realized that _I_ had suddenly become the annoying roommate, but I continued anyway.

"So, you think I should have given Jared another chance?" I whispered again, louder.

"Mmm," came her lifeless voice.

"Even though it didn't really make sense? Because sense doesn't matter, right?"

"Sleeping."

"Because, that's why I left. It didn't make sense. I didn't think _he_ really loved me, you know?"

"Shh."

By this point, I was well aware that I was just thinking out loud, more for myself.

"Like he was a different version of himself. Or something like that. Like the old Jared didn't love me, but now the new Jared does?"

"Stop…talking."

"But maybe there _aren't_ two versions of Jared? Maybe there _isn't_ the old Jared and the new Jared. If this was what he was _destined_ to become, then it's just the same Jared fulfulling his destiny. His destiny that includes me. Right?"

She rolled over and pulled her pillow over her head. I realized she wouldn't even know what I was talking about by now, but still, the words kept pouring out.

"And why would I even call that old Jared _my-_Jared? He was never_ mine_ back then. He's more _mine_ now than he was back then. Well—I guess he would have been mine if I stayed…"

"Mmm."

"But then again, I left because it didn't seem right. That was the right choice, because he only loved me because he imp—"

"Kim! _Dude!_ Enough!" Suddenly, Dee was up, flicking on the light next her and huffing out a sigh as she rubbed her eyes awake. "Look, you're a smart girl, I know that, you know that, we_ all_ know that," she said, using hand gestures for emphasis, the way she always does. "The truth is, you're smart enough to convincingly argue _both_ sides of any case. Including this—whatever the hell you're talking about with this old-Jared, new-Jared crap," she accused, raising her eyebrows in suspicion. "You could weigh out your pros and cons all night, but _why_ we feel what we feel isn't _logical;_ it's _emotional. _So, _please_, stop trying to logically argue with yourself, _out loud,_ let me sleep, and just follow your frickin' heart!"

I opened my mouth to say something, but found myself stunned into silence as Dee flicked off her light, laid back down, rolled over and went back to sleep.

_Follow your frickin' heart._

It was that simple. Those four words were all the reassurance I needed. My heart had _always_ been desperately in love with Jared, but it was my _head_ that was always insisting on making informed decisions. _Fat lot of good that did me_, I thought bitterly. I knew now I needed to talk to Jared more than anything. As soon as possible. Tomorrow wasn't soon enough. I needed to talk to him now—to _see_ him now. To fix this whole mess before I chickened out. Who knew what the consequences of a broken imprint were. Or what the consequence of refunding your destiny—which is essentially what I had done—was. I sure didn't want to find out.

I mentally strategized my plans as I moved around our room, feeling around in the dark for what I would need. It had always been Jared doing everything for me—for us. He kept trying over and over, and now that he'd given up, it was _my_ turn to rescue us.

"Where are you _going!?_" Dee asked, watching me slide out of our—thankfully, first story—window, with a fist full of cash in my hand.

"I'm following my frickin' heart," I answered, suddenly feeling extremely confident.

She looked incredulous, looking at me like I was stupid, waiting for me to elaborate.

I rolled my eyes at her lack of understanding, and clarified.

"I'm going to La Push."


	16. Chapter 16: Jared

_**Jared:**_

_Look,_ Seth started, _All I'm saying is, this would be a lot more romantic if you were wearing something more than a pair of cutoffs._

I cringed at the awkward scenario he projected into my mind; Kim's disgusted face taking in my scruffy appearance.

_Oh, that's a good point, Seth, _I mocked bitterly. _Let me just go put on my coat and tie._

To be honest, it did concern me a little, but right now, there weren't any other options.

_Hey…_ he continued, distracted now, _Is… that it?_

My attention instantly shifted from his vision, to facing precinct ahead of us. There were rows of buildings, yet not a soul in sight. Almost all the windows were closed, their curtains drawn shut and lights turned off. I gulped, suddenly feeling nervous and at a loss for where to even start.

_Don't be nervous, _Seth encouraged in a coach-like tone, _you've got this. You've got this! Game plan, Jared. Show her who's boss!_

_What? Seth— that's not— what are you even— _I didn't bother continuing, wondering only how I could _not_ be used to this by now.

_Just remember she's Logical Kim, _he reminded me, _Pragmatic Kim. You have to make sure you make sense! Don't take no for an answer! Show her who's bo—_

_Okay, okay,_ I answered, questioning the validity of taking _Seth's_ advice to get me through this, while simultaneously building up a game plan in my head.

We stopped in front of a building labeled DORMITORY, craning our necks at its height.

_So, um… _he began cautiously, _where do— um, what do we do now?_

I didn't say anything, silently cursing myself for not thinking this through thoroughly after a whole day spent just _running._

_Scale the buildings? _he suggested sarcastically. _We don't even know what room she's in._

His stupid suggestions just kept rolling while I frantically sifted through my thoughts for more practical ideas.

Seth shook his body out as a small gust of wind blew a pile of leaves around us.

We both froze.

_Do you _smell_ that? _I asked him, but mostly just needing to acknowledge it aloud for myself.

Kim. Kimberly.

I would know _that _scent anywhere, even if it were layered under piles of crap.

_It smells like cookies,_ Seth stated, curiously. _She smells really good, Jared._

_Thanks,_ I mumbled uncomfortably. Cookies weren't exactly the way I would have described it, but to each their own I guess. I always identified her scent more closely to _vanilla_.

Either way, it was suddenly _everywhere._ I wasn't sure if it was just because I so desperately wanted—_needed_ to find her that it seemed to surround me, but it would be difficult to follow right now as the wind began to blow in different directions.

Seth mentally gasped, slowly backing towards the building, his eyes cautiously fixed on something ahead of him. I turned slowly to follow his line of vision, taking in the sight of a plumpy old man dressed in what must be a campus security outfit, squinting into the darkness of our direction.

_I-think-he-saw-us,_ Seth mentally whispered in a mechanical tone, sitting deadly still as if being stationary would somehow render him invisible, despite his huge wolf form.

_Seth_, I said, rolling my eyes, _You don't have to whisper, he can't hear us._

The man readjusted his security belt which held his baton holster and other harmless weapons, as if to silently reinforce his authority to the unknown creatures of the dark. With one last glimpse, he suddenly turned around, yelling out an accusatory "Hey!" and paced off in pursuit in the opposite direction. Apparently, some other more threatening creature seemed to have captured his attention.

_Prison break! _Seth yelled, running along the side of the building like an escaped convict.

I trailed slowly, sniffing its perimeter. I swear I could smell her _everywhere._ It was as if she had been running around the outside of this building _herself._ Yet the scent was so _fresh_, which made no sense at all.

_Seth,_ _I can smell her. Everywhere. I think she's been here_, I told him as I stopped to deeply inhale her scent on a patch of grass directly outside one of the ground floor windows. _Like, right here_, I pointed out, both in my mind and with my paw.

He paused a second, sniffing, his conclusion indecisive. _It's not as strong for me, but you would know it better, I guess._

_No, I'm sure._ This had to be it. _This _window. _This _room. It had to be hers. I _knew_ her scent and this was definitely it.

Seth was easily assured by my thoughts and instantly phased, ready for my noble act of breaking and entering. I quickly followed suit, pulling on my shorts, running my hands down the length of them, hopelessly trying to straighten them out a little to make myself look a little more…presentable.

Seth chuckled at my action, "Yeah, that'll help."

"Why did you phase, anyway?" I half whispered, half yelled. "You're not coming in there with me!"

"Of course I am!" he whisper-yelled back, throwing his hands in the air. "I ran all this way, I wanna know what happens!"

I spun around, knowing I couldn't talk him out of this if I tried.

I was now facing the window, the doorway to the rest of my life, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly intimidated by the closed curtains, thinking bitterly back to the memory of the last time Kim shut me out in a very similar way before she left.

"How the hell are we supposed to _slide_ the window open from the outside?" Seth asked. "And do you even think you can _fit_ through there?" He took a step back, no doubt mentally measuring the size of the frame.

I paid him no mind, and ever so carefully pushed my palms up against the glass, slowly forcing it to slide up, turning back to him, answering with a whispered, "_That's _how."

Once I had the window as open as it would allow, I took a deep breath telling myself just how much I _needed_ this, how important _this_ moment would be, as I carefully lifted my leg in through the frame, the rest of my body following closely behind.

As soon as I was in, I moved a little to the left to make way for Seth. I watched him awkwardly slide his gangly body—both feet first—through the window in an attempted swift, yet actually incredibly disjointed movement. It was the most awkward thing I'd ever seen in my life.

Before I could let out the laugh that built up inside me, Seth whispered a frantic, "_Crouch!_"

"What, why?" I whispered back, but doing so anyway, just as he did.

"I don't know," came his panicked whisper. "When you break and enter at night, you crouch. I don't know why, but you just do."

"_Seth_, the whole point of this is to _talk _to her. That would require waking her _up_."

He removed his arms that were protectively positioned over his head, and straightened out from his crouching position. "Right."

I took a deep breath, channeling all the courage I had built up, and moved to the foot of the bed.

"_Kim_," I whispered. She stirred a little.

I continued to coo her name quietly, and her movements became more obvious as she rolled over under the covers.

I felt a tinge of exhilaration as her body acknowledged the sound of my voice.

"_Kiiiim_," I whispered again, confidently. "It's Jared. I'm here. I _love_ you. I need to talk to you. Wake up."

Suddenly, an arm reached out from under the covers and quickly found the switch of the bedside lamp.

And then we were facing some guy with red hair. And a cartoon character themed t-shirt. He was sitting up in his bed with a half pissed-half in shock look on his face.

It was quiet_… _No one was breathing_… _

"Um," Seth said, breaking the silent tension. "I think we have the wrong room."

The guy didn't say anything, or make any other movements; his expression unchanging from the moment he saw us.

We quickly turned back around, all but falling back outside the window, carefully sliding it closed once we were outside.

We stood silently as Seth scratched the back of his neck wearing an uncomfortable look on his face, while I must've just looked incredibly frustrated and defeated at the floor, feeling the hint of a migraine coming. "Well… that was awkward," he offered. When I didn't respond, he continued with, "Now what?"

"I can follow her scent better if I'm wolf," I told him, refusing to acknowledge the embarrassingly stupid mistake that we had just made. "I'm gonna phase."

He nodded in agreement, and followed my lead.

I moved around slowly, sniffing carefully and closely to the floor, willing myself to just do something _right_ for once.

We both walked very slowly, deep in concentration.

_I can smell it. It's getting stronger…_

I didn't agree, not wanting to jinx it, simply just quickening my pace as I followed the trail.

Finally, we both came to a stop outside another ground floor window.

_This is it_, Seth announced. _This is _so _it. Cookies, dude. It's so strong now._

He waited for my answer. _This is it_, I told him. And this time, we were both sure_._

We both phased back without another word, repeating the same routine of sliding the window open, our bodies in, and sliding it back closed, without the hesitation or awkwardness there had been before.

My senses were assaulted by her scent. It was _everywhere _in this room. I could clearly see this room had two beds in it, one empty and one filled.

_Please let it be her_, I thought. _Please._

"Say something already," Seth pushed.

"Okay, just give me a second," I whispered back, trying to remember what I had said to that guy earlier, thinking I was waking up Kim.

Suddenly, a gasp was let out and the body rolled over and fell onto the floor with an audible, "UGH!"

The voice was female, but once my eyes adjusted, I could see it clearly was _not_ Kim.

"_Oh, for the love of—_"

"_Kim!_" she whisper-yelled, cutting me off, motioning to flick on the lamp above her head. "I swear if you—" The words died in her throat as she registered that neither of us were Kim, nor people that should be in her room in the middle of the night. "Who the h—"

"Uh, hi," I greeted, nervously, digging my hands into my pockets. "I'm looking for…Kim." I tried to talk casually, as if there was nothing abnormal about this situation.

The girl climbed back into her bed off the floor, looking slightly curious, but not at all afraid. "Um… she's not… here right now. Can I take a message?"

"Do you know where I can find her?" I asked.

"She went to… La Push," she said, unsurely.

"_What?_ _When?_"

My thoughts became frantic, trying to understand how this could be happening.

"Not long ago. She just climbed out the window and—"

I had already turned around and started climbing back out the window at this, when I noticed Seth was still standing in the same spot, remaining uncharacteristically silent as he had been throughout the whole conversation.

I stopped midway through climbing, sticking my head back in the room, ignoring the poor confused girl who still sat in her bed, staring at Seth.

"_Seth_, are you _coming_ or _what?_"

I stared at his unmoving back, wondering if he even heard me.

"Seth!" I yelled, reaching back in to grab a hold of his arm, trying to pull him back towards me. He barely budged, still facing the other way. "_Seth Clearwater!_" I yelled this time.

He finally took in a deep, jagged breath, seemingly being pulled back from his daze, and breathed out two words in amazement.

"So_… __preeetty._"

I let go of his arm, climbing back into the room with a resigned, "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

He moved towards the girl, who still sat looking completely _confused_ and now a little intimidated.

"Um…" she said in a small voice, bringing her knees to her chest. "Who _are_ you people?"

I left the opportunity for Seth to answer, but he still hadn't completely composed himself, so I went ahead. "I'm Jared. And this is Seth," I said, placing a firm grip on his shoulder, holding him back from getting any closer to her. "We're… friends of Kim."

"_Oh!_" she let out cheerfully, seeming to register familiarity at my introduction. And then she hopped off the bed and came forward to throw her arms around me in as big of a hug as her tiny arms could manage. "You're Jared! _Jared. The_ Jared!"

_Huh,_ I thought as I hugged her back. _Cookies._

_Oh! _This chick smelled a little like _cookies._

_That _was the scent Seth picked up. Of course, trust _Seth's_ soul mate to smell of baked goods. How very cutesy. How very _Seth._

She took a step back, shooting a big smile at Seth, and continued to process her thoughts out loud to me. "You're Kim's Jared! And you're here! That is so _sweet_! You're actually here!" Then her expression fell as she heard herself say the words aloud. "Oh, no! She went to La Push! And you're here! And she's there! You have to go!" She began trying with all her might to push me back out the window; her feet skidding across the same spot on the floor as I stood completely balanced.

I chuckled a little at her intensity; glad that she seemed to be overly enthused at the idea of Kim and I being together. I turned around and climbed out the window, watching the exchange between them about to take place.

"You, too!" she told Seth, trying to push him out the window after me. "You guys have to find her!" But all he did was take her gesture the wrong way and wrap his arms around her into an affectionate hug; his eyes squeezed shut and a _huge_ grin plastered on his face. All the while she was still hopelessly trying to _push _him in the opposite direction.

I laughed, already predicting what the dynamics of this relationship would be like, and told her, "Seth's gonna stay here with you. Just to keep watch, in case she comes back."

"Oh," she squeaked out, finding little air to breathe in Seth's hug. "Okay!"

She looked confused, but I before I left, I saw her hugging him back.


	17. Chapter 17

_…__"I'm going to La Push."

* * *

_

___**Kim:**_

I felt a rush of adrenalin and fear coursing through my veins as I leapt off the windowsill with an audible _thud. _I instinctively looked around, making sure no one had seen me, but also kind of wishing someone did, just so I had a witness to my first ever act of true rebellion. I felt _bad._ It was exhilarating. I carefully slid the window back down, smiling as I took one last look at Dee—her expression agape—and crouched below the frame preparing to make my prison break.

I took in the atmosphere around me, absentmindedly watching the small clouds of fog puffing out in front of my face. It was deadly silent, not a creature in sight.

_It's now or never, _I told myself. Now. Or. Never.

_RUN!_

The word suddenly sprung to mind out of nowhere, as if it were someone else commanding me to do it. So I ran. I ran, ducking low, slowing to a jog at the edge of the building. _This is so exciting_, I internally squealed. I really wished someone could see me doing this.

I wished _Jared_ could see me doing this.

I wished _Jared_ were here doing this _with me._

I felt my lip tremble at the thought, suddenly feeling the need to sit down and absorb the weakness I felt at his name. I slumped down in one falling movement, my back leaning against the wall below a random window. I could feel myself softening inside. While I'd been here, stubbornly trying to prove a point, what had _he_ been doing? What state would I find _him_ in back home? I winced at the image of his heartbroken face; the last memory I had of him.

I shook my head, clearing those emotions out of my mind before they would eat up my hope. I needed to do this for him. I wasn't pansy, crying Kim today. I was brave, impulsive, crazy Kim right now. _Crazy in love_, no-sense making, illogical Kim. I was _Jared's_ girlfriend and _Dee's_ best friend. That was one mean combination.

I wiped the pain off my face and lifted myself off the ground, focusing on assessing the situation. Finding my confidence again, I took in the challenge ahead of me. The other side of the building was dimly lit by a lamppost planted on a path a few feet away. It would be the quickest route to the main gates and taxi stands, but also the path where I would be most visible to anyone in the area. It was a huge risk to run, suddenly making it all the more appealing. I'd made everything so hard for Jared, and it wouldn't feel right for this to be too easy for me now. I would take the risk and find my way across the lands back to him. To us. I would _earn_ my way back to him.

_You can do this,_ I told myself, feeling brave. Overconfident even. _You _will_ do this._

I wondered if there were security cameras on campus.

I wondered if they might give me a copy of the tape to show Dee.

A large oak tree sat directly between the gates and where I stood. I squeezed the bills in my hand and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear—somehow convincing myself this would make me more aerodynamic. I took a deep breath, my eyes fixed firmly on my destination, preparing myself for the sprint.

_That tree,_ I thought. _Just get to that tree. It's right _there.

Three more quick breaths.

And I sprinted.

My shoes slapped the floor, the pain of my limbs being suddenly thawed out barely registering in my head as I took those first two springing lunges, my arms swinging awkwardly the way the always do when I run. The wind struck my face, blowing my hair in different directions, my mouth forming an involuntary smile…and then I froze. I stopped abruptly in my strides, almost like I had run into a glass door that wasn't there.

_That tree_, I thought. _There's a _man_ standing behind that tree. He's right _there.

I caught the glint of shining metal dangling off his belt. Security. Campus security. I was in the middle of the grounds now, the lamppost throwing a pool of light around me. It felt like I was standing naked in a room full of people just _waiting_ in fear for someone to notice.

I stared at the back of his frame, feeling my heart pounding in my throat as I tried to quietly swallow it back down.

_Slowwwwly back away,_ I coached myself.

My arms hung stiffly at my sides, my palms spread open, ready to surrender like a criminal. I took careful steps backwards, my eyes set on the chubby man shifting from foot to foot by the tree, kicking up dirt, no doubt bored out of his mind.

My heart stopped for a second when I saw his head perk up, his attention suddenly fixed on something in the opposite direction. I could see his head tilting forward, his eyes squinting into the darkness. He took an unsure step forward, about to reach for the flashlight hanging at his side.

_Snap__._

I felt, rather than heard the twig break beneath my shoe. _He_ heard it. Instantly, his attention was set on me, standing in the middle of the path, my eyes wide as they met his.

"Hey!" he called out a second after we'd acknowledged one another's presence.

I ran. _Ranranranran._

I could hear his heavy footsteps almost as loud as I could hear him wheezing what sounded like his last breaths of life. _Thank God he's slow. _I ran to my left and hid behind the closest building, peering out at him from the corner.

He didn't keep up with me, but he clearly saw the direction I ran in and would soon catch me if I didn't think fast. I looked around frantically, desperately searching for an alternate escape route. I wasn't far from one side of the iron gates that surrounded the campus. The bars seemed to be spaced out generously enough for me to squeeze my small body through. _I think._

I grimaced at the thought of getting stuck in between them, and consequently having to be pried out by the janitor tomorrow morning in front of the entire student body.

_I wonder if I'll fit… _I pondered this as I watched him coming closer. And closer. _Guess we'll have to find out_.

I didn't care that this security man was right there anymore. I would just have to outrun him. Run past him, then run the hell away from him. Then run to the gates and run _through_ the gates. This was my _soul mate_ for crying out loud. My _destiny. _This could _not_ go wrong. I had _destiny_ on my side. Destiny _trumps_ campus security guard.

I closed my eyes for a second, bringing Jared's smiling face to the forefront of my mind, and then I took off running again. Sprinting. _Lunging._

"Hey!"

I could see the guard running towards me and I desperately pushed myself to run faster. It amazed me how little fear I had at that moment. None at all. And he was chasing _right_ after me. I felt my eyes crinkling and I realized I was smiling. This was _fun._

"Come back!"

_No thanks,_ I thought, eyeing the gates that were so _close_ now. I smiled even wider.

"You! Miss!" I could hear him gasping for air, his footsteps becoming fewer and further between, the sound of his voice fading away. He was giving up? He was giving _up!_

I was running so fast now, faster than I'd ever run in my life—faster than anyone in the world had ever run in all history. This moment needed background music.

I knew nothing could stop me anymore. Now that I was so close, nothing could stop me. Nothing _would_ stop me from getting to La Push. Nothing at all.

"You know you'll be expelled if you do this, Miss!"

_Oh,_

_Crap._

_CRAP._

_That_ could stop me.

_That _could _definitely_ stop me.

He threw that one sentence out and suddenly his words had roped me back in, standing only feet away from the iron gates. So close, yet I instantly felt an invisible barrier rise between me and my freedom. My wide spread grin pulled down into a deep frown of disappointment.

_Expulsion._ I gulped. Now, I loved Jared; I really, really loved him. A lot. But, I really, really, really did not want to get expelled. Suddenly, wild and crazy Kim was reined in, and geeky Kim that worked _really _hard to get into this college shyly climbed back out of hiding.

_No… I really do not want to be expelled._

I sighed, turning with a defeated expression. We both walked towards one another to close the gap between us. The closer he got, the clearer I could see the _smugness _on his face.

_You are so mean, campus man, _I told him in my head.

He pulled out his torch, its light stabbing me in the darkness, pinning me in place against an invisible wall.

"_You,_" he accused.

I didn't know what to say.

"Me," I said quietly.

"Where do you think you're trying to run off to?"

"Just… out," I answered, turning my face away from the light.

"Are you aware of the campus curfew?" he asked, quirking his eyebrow, daring me to lie.

"Yes."

"And yet, you still insisted on sneaking out… in the middle of the night._ Alone._"

"Yes."

"And _what_ makes you think you have the right to do so?" His voice was dripping with superiority, the really obnoxious kind.

"I don't…know," I answered, resigned.

"Do you know how much trouble you can get in for attempting this?"

_Oh, come on…_ I thought, looking up to the skies. _Give us a break! We've suffered enough!_

I didn't know who exactly I was talking to, but if all this cosmic imprinting stuff really _was_ the work of the Greater Gods, they should _seriously _lay off giving Jared and I a hard time. I believed in fighting for what you wanted, but _this_ was just getting ridiculous.

"I…don—"

My voice died when I caught sight of something flickering under the moonlight in the distance behind him.

A tail.

A wolf.

* * *

_**Jared:**_

As I took that one last look at Seth and his imprint—hugging like idiots in love—I couldn't help but wonder why it couldn't have been that easy for me. For us.

_No, _I thought, shaking my head. That wasn't my destiny—that was Seth's Destiny. If this convoluted mess was what it was going to take to get Kim in the end, I would do it a thousand times over.

I sniffed around in a slight panic. _She couldn't have gone too far, could she?_ I wondered why she was going back to La Push. And why in the middle of the night? _Alone?_ Maybe there was an emergency. Maybe her mom got sick.

_Maybe—_

Voices. I came to a stop when I heard voices. Two, but I only really cared about _one. _Her voice. The only voice in the world. I ran. I rounded the corner of the dorm building in seconds, my head swinging from left to right as I searched the grounds,

and there she was.

The guard crossed his arms over his chest, leaning to one side, putting all his weight on his right leg. The second his head moved, her eyes met mine.

And I swear in that second it was like I imprinted on her all over again.

The ground beneath me disappeared; the air was sucked out of my lungs, my heart beat faster and slower and then disappeared all together. That moment was everything and nothing but Kim, all at the same time. I sat in place, frozen, waiting for something to happen. There was a good chance I was just imagining this, so I waited in stunned silence.

Her mouth was open, like she had been in the middle of a sentence. The man still stood with his back to me, awaiting her answer. I watched as she took in a jagged breath and _something _in her eyes changed. Something I had never seen in her before. Determination, mixed with bravery and… _mischief?_

_Am I seeing this right?_

Kim was now… _smirking._

My mind immediately told me this was an illusion. This was my desperation forming an illusion. Why the hell would Kim be _smirking?_ At me? Why would she even be _happy_ to see me? And what was _funny_ about this situation?

Suddenly, she gasped.

Then _I_ gasped, completely freaked out.

She brought her hands to her open mouth, blatantly _feigning _shock.

_What are you doing, Kim?_ I asked her in my head.

She was feigning _shock_.

And then she screamed out, "Monster!" She pointed at me. "Look!" She gripped the man's shoulders, spinning him around. "A monster!"

The guard pivoted in compliance with her yelling and stopped at the sight of me—still completely dumbfounded for what the hell was going on. He just watched me in terror, his jaw trembling and his flashlight slipping loosely out of his hand. I shot a look at Kim. _Did she just call me a monster?_

She winked.

_She winked?_

And then she took off running, taking advantage of the guard's current distraction. Which would be me.

_Ohh._

It all _clicked_ a second later.

_Right,_ I thought. _I'm supposed to distract him so she can escape._

I cleared my throat, now dry from all the open mouthed astonishment, and pulled in a bucket full of air, working up my best growl.

And then I roared. I _ROOARED_.

The man screamed bloody murder and took off running in the opposite direction Kim had gone. He pulled his walkie-talkie from his belt at the same time, yelling frantically and incoherently into the speaker.

I watched him reach his little security booth, still screaming his lungs out, the lights above him flicking on and off as he fumbled with switches and various communication devices.

Kim was still running. I could see her figure disappearing into the darkness back towards the dorm building. Or was that really even Kim? I didn't know if I could trust my mind right now. I could have seriously just imagined all of that random craziness.

The wind blew a small gust and her scent _filled_ me. Its warmth reached every corner of my body and gave me the shivers. I inhaled deeply, almost tasting her scent on my tongue.

_Kim…_

That was Kim. That was really _my_ Kim.

And then I remembered what I came here to do.

_I_ was the scared one now.


	18. Chapter 18

**_AN: _**_This was meant to be the last chapter, but I think Seth & Dee need more airtime so hang on for one more. And thank you so much for the reviews :)_

_

* * *

_

**_Kim:_**

I slowed my pace as I rounded the corner of my building, my legs beginning to feel weak from all the shock and overwhelming excitement. I stopped to place my palm over my heart, concentrating on the familiar strange way it was beating. It was the same rhythmic pattern it always picked up in Jared's presence. Fast and slow at the same time. It was as if my body was physically reacting to his presence at its own recognition of him.

I closed my eyes, leaning my back against our building, taking deep breaths to bring myself down from the adrenalin rush that had been circulating throughout my system the entire night.

The events that had just taken place replayed in my memory as I struggled to reshuffle them into order. I shook my head, disbelieving of it all. In what world would _I _rebel like that in front of authority, and not even care? In what world would _Jared_ turn up to my college as a _wolf?_

Even though I didn't actually break out, and _he_ ended up coming to _me,_ I still felt like I had achieved something in my attempt. That little act of heroic rebelling was a _big_ deal for someone like me. Someone who was used to following the rules, finding reason in everything, steering clear of the line between wrong and right. In the last hour, all reason had been abandoned, because it was all for him.

And now he was here.

Everything I had been thinking and feeling in the last twenty-four hours seemed to slip my mind at that. It was like some sort of peaceful assurance had cleansed through me, erasing all the fear, the panic and even the _courage_. I didn't need to worry anymore; I didn't need to _plan_ anymore, I didn't even need to be brave. Because _he_ was _here_. And he loved me, and he would make it better. As long as he was here and we were together, everything would be all right. I didn't care if imprinting did or didn't make sense anymore; it was an argument I could chase around in my head forever. Destiny, soul mates, wolf gene reproduction, wrong, right… Who knew if I could find exact meaning or logic in all of that? All I knew was how I _felt_—how I'd _always _felt—and that's what mattered the most.

I looked down at myself, smiling contently like an idiot. The money in my hands had pretty much been crumpled into a shredded ball, my clothes were covered in grass stains and the bottom of my pants were lined with mud. My hair was messy from all the running, and I was kind of sweaty and gross, but for the first time in a long time I felt like everything was going to be _okay._

_Wait_… I thought

_Am I forgetting something?_

Just then, I heard the sound of footsteps squishing on grass around the corner.

_Jared._

Jared!

The rhythm slowed as he came into view. I caught sight of his eyes first before I saw anything else. They were fixed in that _look. _That look that used to make feel insanely exposed and uncomfortable in all its intensity, but now only made me wish for a photographic memory in which I could store it away to keep forever.

And then it was gone. The look slipped off his face so quickly that it stopped me in my tracks, just as I was about to fling myself into his arms and hold on never to let go.

His eyes became determined… _thinking. _I had waited all this time just to see him again, and now I couldn't make myself take those few steps forward to close the gap between us. His reluctance stumped me. I felt my expression fall in confusion. _Why are we not jumping and screaming for joy right now?_ _Why aren't you holding me? Why am I standing here and you're standing there?_

He was shirtless, only wearing what looked to be an old pair of jeans that had been cut at the knees with frayed edges. His hair was arranged in a mess, but still managed to somehow look like it was purposely styled that way. He looked tired and emotionally beaten, like he'd just come from battle.

He looked _guarded._

_Maybe he's not here to rescue you_, I thought. My stomach began to churn at the realization that maybe he was here for an entirely different reason, and I had just jumped the gun with my assumptions. _Oh… no. _I felt myself shrinking, suddenly terrified of the words that were about to come out of his mouth.

I squeezed the cash ball in my fist so tight that I was sure my sweaty palms would disintegrate the paper into nothingness. The silence was deafening. Everything around us seemed to hold its breath, waiting for him to finally speak.

"Before you say anything," he said in a tone that was strong and assured, "Let me just get this out."

I nodded in a motion that was so small I wasn't even sure if I did, or if he'd seen it. His eyes tightened, like he was trying to remember what he was going to say. It was then I registered that Jared was _nervous._ His arms hung awkwardly at his sides as he stood, unsure of what to do with his trembling hands. He was trying so hard to appear stoic and sure, but I could tell he was nervous. Really nervous. I had never seen him like this before. Not even in fourth grade when he had to read out a speech to the entire class and he'd forgotten half of his note cards. Or even in seventh grade when he was standing on the field in the seconds before a grand final that rested entirely on his shoulders.

Not even in the moment he was about to tell me he imprinted on me.

"I know this whole _imprinting_ thing," he winced at the word, "has got us both thrown and it doesn't make any sense to you, and I know you're angry about it and you think if I didn't imprint on you we wouldn't end up together…"

His sentence was long running. It seemed to keep going like he was remembering points in his head as they came. _Is this a planned speech or something?_ I wondered. And then I realized what he was saying. He was talking about all the stuff I had finally come to terms with. All the imprinting does or doesn't make sense stuff. So I interjected to tell him it was okay and I didn't care anymore.

"Jared, it's o—"

"Wait," he said, cutting me off. I noticed his eyes softened in the _slightest_ at this. "I know you need it to all make sense to accept it, and you think if I didn't imprint on you we wouldn't end up together…"

I noted that he had just repeated himself and realized this must've _really_ been rehearsed. I bit the inside of my bottom lip to fight back a grin. He looked so _determined._

"…but that's the thing, Kim. It couldn't have happened any other way. I was always destined to become a werewolf when I came of age… it's in my _blood_. There isn't any '_if I didn't imprint on you_.' There's no _if_… don't you get it? There just _is_. This_ is_ who I am_. _We were always destined to be together… before we were even_ born_. It could never have been any other girl, and it couldn't have happened any other way. This is the way fate wrote it—the way I was supposed to find my soul mate."

I wasn't even listening; I just wanted to tell him he didn't have to do this. That I was already his. That I had always been his. "Really, Jared. I—"

"_No_, I know you're gonna try to fight me on this, but Kim, I…" he gripped his hair and closed his eyes. He thought I was trying to reject him again. "We're meant to be together, we just _are_. I—I don't know if I understand all of these legends and there are so many theories and myths, and so much of it still doesn't make sense to me, but I _know_ for sure I'm meant to be in your life. I can feel it. I can actually _physically_ feel it."

_I know,_ I thought. _I can too._ "Jared, you don't have to—"

"…and I know I said all that crap about wolf genes and reproduction or whatever…" His expression became sheepish and helpless at that, and then I was _really_ trying not to smile. "But I think that just came out wrong, and I didn't mean it the way I said it. I just meant that we were meant to be together so… it would only be natural that if I were to ever have kids…" His eyes went into panic and he quickly tried to dig himself out of _that_ one.

My eyebrows rose in feigned surprised amusement. He was so nervous that he just kept rambling on and on, and part of me just wanted to say, _I love you. Please shut up. I love you,_ while another part of me was enjoying watching him squirm.

"…not that—I'm not saying we need to have kids—or not that we aren't—I didn't mean—I wouldn't…" He was stuttering now and was evidently becoming frustrated with himself. He squeezed his eyes shut when he continued. "I swear, this sounded so much more convincing in my head on the run here." It seemed as though he said this more to himself, but I couldn't help my reaction.

"You _ran_ here?"

He opened his eyes and nodded.

"On _legs_?"

He nodded again.

"From _home?_"

"From your home," he said.

It was then I realized the enormity of what we had. He'd seriously _run_ all the way here, while I had just tried to run all the way _there._ This was obviously no high school crush. This wasn't even just _love_. I was right from the beginning. Imprinting was_ not_ love. It was something _stronger._ Bigger. This was when the feelings you harboured were so profound, so infinite, that you physically couldn't be away from one another, because that's just how you were _made._ You were genetically _made_ to be together. Just like your limbs were a part of your body, your imprint was a part of your… soul.

_Your imprint is__ a part of your soul._

"Oh," I said, my head tilted to one side. "_Wow…_" His head perked up in interest, waiting for me to continue. "I think I've just figured out imprinting."

"You what?" His voice brought me out of my little thought bubble, and I could feel the smile plastered on my face.

"You're a part of me," I said simply.

His eyes fell closed as if my words had soothed all the crazy thoughts that were running through his mind. "That's… what I was trying to say… stupid Seth… show her who's boss," he muttered. I was about to ask what Seth had to do with this, but then he opened his eyes and looked directly into mine. Very seriously. "But Kim, I don't want you to think you don't have a choice here."

"What?"

_Choice? Don't have a choice? What?_

I was getting mad that he was making this even more complicated.

_Let's just live happily ever after already_, I thought.

"I've been thinking about it, and just because I imprinted on you, it doesn't mean you have to be with me right now. If you don't want me, I can just… be here. As a friend. It'll be…" he bit his bottom lip. "Hard, but if… that's the only way I can keep you in my life right now, I'll do it. I can lose you like that, but not like this—where we're apart for this long. I need to be able to at least _see_ you, Kim."

"_What?_" I was completely dumbfounded by what he was proposing. My voice came out softer than I had intended when I continued. I wanted to be angry, but all I felt was incredibly wounded. "You…think I don't want to be with you?" The words were sad and broken, almost a whisper.

His expression mirrored my own, and he simply shrugged, as if to say, _I don't know… _

And then I rushed forward, practically _stumbling_ into him. It was like my body acted before my mind told it to, causing me to lose my balance only to fall _into_ him. My arms were around his neck and I stood on my toes to bury my face in the familiar crook between his neck and shoulder. I wasn't really even hugging him so much as I was _clinging_ to him like my life depended on it.

His arms caught me tightly around my waist as he lifted me up in place, so firmly that I felt every line of his body against mine, the familiar, comforting heat of his skin almost ingrained into my own. We were dirty and crying and tired and restless, but none of that mattered, because he was there and I was there, and in that moment I knew no one could ever love another person as much as I loved him.

I didn't care if he imprinted on me and he thought that was infinite and stronger than any other kind of love. I loved him _more_ than that. I'd loved him for longer than that with a hundred times more intensity. I'd loved him since I was six. _Six!_ Imprinting be damned, _my_ love was stronger. _Kimprint._ That's what it should be called. The only kind of love that _trumps _imprinting:_ Kimprinting._

After what could have been years, we finally loosened our hold on one another. Only just slightly enough to actually _look_ at each other. We stood under the light of the full moon, our eyes saying so much more than our words ever could. He brought his hand up to clear my hair out of my face, carefully tucking loose strands behind my ear, his eyes never leaving mine as he continued to wipe away my tears with the pads of his thumb. It was useless though. I only cried more.

He held his palm against my cheek, lowering his forehead to lean against mine. "Don't leave me like that again, okay?" It came out as a plead, like he was really asking me not to. He actually _needed_ to hear me say I wouldn't, but I couldn't find my voice, so I nodded. And then I wanted to tell him, _Don't do this. You don't have to ask. I don't want to hear this. _I had told him how much I loved him before, but I didn't realize how easily that assurance was negated when I left. I gripped his wrist as he rested both palms against my cheeks. "You can't leave me again, you have to stay with me, okay?" His voice was cracking in all its pleading. And then I could see _him._ The old-Jared. Childhood, vulnerable Jared I had fallen in love with. Not strong, guarded wolf-Jared. This was defenseless, exposed Jared, _begging_ me not to hurt him. "I need you to stay with me, Kim. Stay in my life. Don't leave me. _Please._" I kept nodding, begging him in return to stop talking about this._ I'll never leave, but please, just stop,_ I thought. _I can't handle this._ I'd been through a lot of torture, but nothing hurt as bad as this. Seeing that helpless expression on Jared's face, knowing _I'd_ put it there.

"I won't," I told him, and that's all I could manage out before his lips crushed against mine. Hard. He had been so gentle up until now, but this kiss was so desperate and _long awaited_ that it felt like we might run out of time if we went slowly. I pulled myself impossibly closer to him, my feet barely touching the floor as he held onto me like a lifeline. He'd never kissed me like this before, and I could feel all the want and need behind it in all their entirety. It was one of those kisses that was so passionate it made you uncomfortable to watch other couples engage in. It got to a point where it almost hurt and I couldn't breathe, but I didn't care.

I could no longer distinguish between our heartbeats as they raced furiously against one another. His body heat practically leapt out of him and into me as he squeezed me so tightly, our breaths running so dangerously short that I thought I might pass out.

Finally, our lips parted and we were breathing the same air in and out as our faces stayed so intimately close together. He kissed my lips again, then my nose, and then my closed eyelid. I knew we were okay now. The tears were no longer falling and I could feel my breathing re-regulate just as well as I could hear his doing the same. It was okay.

It was _finally_ okay.

I saw something flicker in his eyes, and the hint of smile beginning to play on his lips. I tilted my head in curiosity, waiting for him to speak. "I'd follow you anywhere you know," he said, matter-of-factly. "Even if you left again, I'd stalk you over and over."

I smiled, remembering the nights he spent outside my window, the days he used to drive me home, and the act of love he'd just commit in running all the way here to reach me with a _rehearsed speec__h_. "Yeah, I know."

And I really did know he would.

Just as well as I knew I'd never go anywhere he couldn't follow me.


	19. Chapter 19

"_And I'm begging you to be my escape_."  
Relient K

_**Kim:**_

We sat on the grass, leaning against my building, my head on his shoulder and our fingers intertwined. I was physically and emotionally drained, and while I was aware that we still ran the risk of being caught outside by campus security, I wasn't ready to move just yet. We were silent for a while, no doubt wrapping our heads around everything that had just happened. It was like we had finally crossed the finish line of a seemingly never-ending race.

I watched as Jared traced patterns along the palm of my hand with his pinky finger, remembering all the days I would sit in class beside him, _aching_ to just reach out and touch him like this. Even just a simple arm graze would have been good enough back then, but I never found the guts to do it.

_Oh, how things have changed._

I thought back to the day this all started—the day that lead me to _this_ very moment. I remembered sitting alone in the corner of that Math class, so unhappy, desperately counting down the weeks until I could finally _escape._ Escape the dismal life of having few friends and few loves; of having little happiness and feeling alone and out of place. How wrong I'd been about the feeling of actually escaping La Push.

"Kim?" he asked, still focused on tracing along my palm.

"Yeah?"

His voice was soft when he continued, still vulnerable. "What's gonna happen now?"

I immediately knew what he meant, as I had been wondering the same thing. Our very surrounding was a confronting reminder of the reality of our situation. We still lived three hours away from one another. But I was tired of the challenges and suffering. I wanted to keep things light-hearted and optimistic, because I really did believe in _us, _and really did believe we could overcome something as little as distance.

"You drive next time," I said, and without looking, I could feel him smiling. "And shower beforehand," I added for good measure.

"Okay," he answered easily. "And when's next time?" He tried to mimic my carefree tone, though I could still hear the subtle pleading in his voice.

"Whenever you want," I answered. "And then I'll come home on the weekends to sleep outside _your_ window."

He squeezed my hand, and without needing to look at him, I could tell that was the assurance he'd been waiting to hear. This relationship was going to work, and we both knew we'd do anything to make sure of that now.

"Make sure you shower, too," he teased, tugging on my grass stained pants.

We both chuckled, then sunk back into a comfortable silence.

"I'm tired," I finally admitted a few minutes later, still watching his fingers spiraling patterns into my hand. Although tired was an understatement.

"Mmm."

We both breathed deeply, and I guessed that meant he must be tired too. He did _run_ here after all.

"You are too," I pointed out.

"Kind of," he lied.

I didn't think he was ready to leave me just yet, and wanted to prolong our time together right now for as long as he could manage. But I wasn't keen on the idea of separation yet either.

"Come on," I said, squeezing his hand. "Let's go back to my room and sleep."

And I meant it in the most innocent sense of the word. At that moment, there was nothing more comforting than the idea of falling asleep in Jared's arms. Just lying together in our most peaceful states, no longer staring wide eyed at the ceiling _wondering_ what the other person was doing all those miles away.

I began to stand up, but Jared's voice stopped me.

"Um…" he said nervously. "I don't think we should go into your room just yet."

"What?" I asked. "Why?" I leaned forward to shoot a look at my room, two windows away from where we sat, and noticed the light was on.

_Dee's awake?_

"Long story," he said, still planted on the floor, obviously making no immediate plans to move.

"You've met Dee?" I asked, intrigued.

_What have I missed tonight?_

"Briefly. I didn't catch her name," he said. "But she seems very… lively."

I smiled, shaking my head in disbelief.

_You don't know the half of it,_ I thought wryly.

"And _why_ can't we go in there just yet?"

"Well—" he began, but he was abruptly cut off by the sound of Dee's _screaming_ voice resounding through the walls from where we sat.

"You're a _WHAT_?" she yelled.

Jared tensed a little. "Uh-oh."

"Who's in there with her?" I asked, confused.

"That would be Seth," he answered.

"And what—"

But her voice drowned mine out before I could continue.

"You did _WHAT_ on me?"

Jared cleared his throat and tried to begin a conversation with me, obviously trying to _ignore_ whatever was going on in that room. "So, what's college like?"

I leaned back from him with an incredulous expression on my face. "Jared, _what_ is going on in there?"

Dee was upset, and he knew why.

He sighed. "_Well…_"

Our window slid open so forcefully that the _smack_ of it hitting the top of the frame made us both jump as it echoed through the whole campus.

"_Kim!_" came Dee's yelling voice. "Are you out here?" I turned to see her climbing out of the window with a shirtless Seth following behind her, their hands unexpectedly joined.

I looked questioningly back at Jared who did not look surprised at all. We still sat in place on the floor, looking up at them standing before us.

"This _idiot_," she said, pointing to Seth with her free hand, "has_ just_ asked me to _marry_ him!"

Jared burst out into a fit of laughter, as Seth's face just grew sheepish and embarrassed. "Way to show her who's boss, Seth," Jared teased.

"_What?_" I asked her.

"I didn't ask her to marry me!" Seth defended helplessly. "Well, not _really_. I was just explaining the whole imprinting thing to her and—"

_Imprinting?_

"_Ohhhhhhh_…" I said, nodding my head in amused understanding. I laughed along with Jared, and then stopped when I realized Dee was still waiting expectantly for someone to explain. "Don't worry, Dee. It's not as bad as it sounds. It's actually kind of amazing. But yeah, Jared told me I was going to have his babies when he first tried to explain it." Jared sobered at that, and then both of the boys were looking hopelessly embarrassed.

"So, what?" Dee asked me. "I'm just supposed to believe that he's my… _soul mate_? Just because he's _pawprinted_ on me?"

"Imprinted," Seth corrected. "I _imprinted _on you, Dee."

"Yeah," I answered. "That's pretty much what it is. Can't you feel it?"

She thought for a moment, and then looked back at Seth, biting her bottom lip. "Kind of," she answered hesitantly.

"Kind of?" I asked skeptically, squeezing Jared's hand as I contemplated how tied I felt to him. Even if Dee felt _half _of what I felt for Jared, it could not be explained as simply as _kind of. _"Dee, you're mad right now, aren't you?"

"Of course!" she answered.

"Why?" I challenged.

"Because this beautiful, half naked stranger has just told me he's my soul mate when I haven't even decided if I _want_ to be with him!"

"So why are you holding his hand?" I asked, quirking my brow.

Seth and Jared were both beaming at this, awaiting her answer.

"I… don't… know…" she answered, genuinely confused, looking down at their hands as if she didn't even realize they were joined. She let go, probably just to make a point, and then quickly held back on, discomforted by the loss of contact between them, even though she couldn't logically explain it to herself. "It feels… right," she said unsurely. "But it just doesn't make… _sense_."

I thought about how I could explain it to her, to make her understand that it was okay and it _would_ be okay. "Rainbows, Dee," I said, recycling the analogy she used with me for the very same situation. "Rainbows."

She nodded in understanding, trying to be brave. "So… he's…" She looked to Seth. "You're really a werewolf?"

He nodded solemnly.

She contemplated this silently for a moment. I could see the internal conflict playing out on her face. She wanted to trust him, but she still couldn't be sure about something so crazy. _She needs to see,_ I thought.

I remembered the first time I'd seen Jared as a wolf, sleeping outside my window. I was alone in the dark, surprised and scared out of my mind. If Dee was going to be with Seth, it would be best if she saw him in wolf form earlier, and with Jared and I here for support. It was a scary sight to be confronted with for the first time.

"Show her," I told him. He looked to Jared as if for permission, who nodded in assurance with me. "Go on," I continued. "Go put your wolf on."

This confused him. "She means phase," Jared clarified.

He reluctantly let go of Dee's hand, and turned around to walk towards the neighbouring trees.

"_Wait_…" Dee cried out quietly, beginning to follow after him. "Where… are you going?"

I squealed a little inside, recognizing the bond that was already forming between them.

Seth smiled, realizing the same thing. She didn't want him to go anywhere without her. "I'll be right back," he said in a soft voice, looking at her almost the same way Jared looked at me. "Just wait here, okay?" He smoothed his palm over her cheek and then turned back around.

She nodded mutely, and stood in place, watching him walk away. She looked so _sad._

"Come on," Jared whispered in my ear, finally pulling me to stand as he did the same.

We walked to where Dee stood, ready to act as support in case she ended up fainting, screaming, throwing up, going into shock, or all of the above at the sight of wolf-Seth.

"Are you ready?" Jared asked her as I held onto her hand with my free one.

She nodded, looking extremely nervous—a side of her I'd never seen. _This imprinting really brings out the raw side of people,_ I thought. She took in a deep breath as Seth emerged.

With only the light of the moon shining above us, it took a while for me to see him clearly. At first he just looked like a huge fur shape, but as he came closer I could tell by his eyes he was still the same Seth. Innocent, little-but-big Seth Clearwater.

He came forward very slowly without any sudden movements. It appeared as though he was trying to make himself look smaller and less intimidating, walking with his head close to the ground.

Dee released the jagged breath she'd been holding and began to step forward. I gradually let go of her hand and remained behind with Jared.

She reached out to Seth with a shaky hand. "_Heeeere doggy,_" she cooed nervously, patting the side of his face. "_Niiiiiice doggy_."

I giggled.

Seth's form seemed to relax at her touch, and then he suddenly leaned forward and licked the side of her face.

"Aw yuck, Seth!" she yelled out in surprise, pulling up the hem of her shirt to wipe her cheeks, all nerves apparently gone. "Bad! Bad doggy!"

I felt like I could _see_ him smiling at this, even in his wolf form. Apparently she could too, and jumped up to hug wolf-Seth around the neck, her feet dangling in mid-air as she giggled and laughed playfully with him. My cheeks hurt from smiling.

"That is the weirdest thing I think I've ever seen," Jared stated in fascination as we watched the giant sandy wolf bounce around in the grass with his tiny little imprint.

"I don't think I've ever seen a couple more _perfect_ for one another," I said, looking back to him. He raised his eyebrows. "Oh, right. Except us," I quickly amended, to which he rolled his eyes.

"Guess I've got a travel buddy," he said of Seth.

"Me too," I agreed, thinking about taking Dee home to La Push every weekend. I smiled at how much easier this seemed to be becoming for us.

We walked back towards my room, leaving the happy couple to play in the grass. "_Now_ can we sleep?" I asked. "Or are there any more werewolves hiding in my room I should know about?"

He smiled, shaking his head, lifting me through the window.

We collapsed onto the bed, beyond exhausted. It felt so natural the way we fell into such a comfortable position together, given the limited space. Like two fitting puzzle pieces.

With only the sound of our steady breathing, I was beginning to drift after a couple of minutes, until Jared broke the silence. "I don't wanna be away from you," he admitted quietly. My heart broke a little. "I know you have to stay here and I have to go and I'll still see you a lot, but…" He held onto me a little tighter, not needing to continue for me to understand.

I wished I could somehow show him how much I loved him, more than I already had. I didn't want to be away from him either, but it felt like I was surer of us than he was. I felt immense guilt at that, knowing it was my fault that this doubt and fear had built up inside him. He knew I loved him, but obviously didn't know the extent. He could never leave me the way I left him.

I sat up in the bed, which immediately concerned him. "What are you doing?"

Ignoring his question, I got up, rummaging through a box on the other side of the room. Once I found what I was looking for, I climbed back into the bed with him and handed it over. "Here," I said.

He sat up, receiving it with both hands, looking closely at its surface. "What is it?" he asked.

"It's my diary. Or _was_ my diary, I suppose. I've had it since I was six—since I fell in love with you."

I never ever, ever, ever, ever thought I'd see the day I would _let_ Jared—_the_ Jared—read my diary. But there wasn't anything in there for me to be ashamed of anymore. And it only felt right that he finally knew the truth. It was like _physically_ handing my heart over to him.

"Since you were six? What do you mean?" he asked, flicking through the pages in awe.

"I mean, I've been in love with you since I was six years old. And I could never tell anyone, so I wrote all about it in here instead."

He stopped turning the pages, and just looked at me in utter disbelief. I waited for him to say something, but apparently he wasn't able to form coherent sentences yet, so I continued.

"So if you ever doubt my feelings, just read this and you'll know."

He blinked quickly a few times, looking back down at the pink hardcover book with our initials sketched in hearts and crooked handwriting. "This is amazing," he appraised in disbelief. He turned to the last pages. "Life isn't a fairy tale?"

I considered what I'd written for a second before answering, contemplating what my life had become as of late. I now lived in a world of magical love and mythical creatures and happily ever afters. It really _didn't_ get anymore fairy tale than that the more I thought about it.

"Well, apparently I was wrong, because it obviously is. Or at least _mine_ is."

He smiled, understanding what I meant, and leaned forward to kiss me, whispering his love for me in my ear shortly after. "Thank you," he said, his forehead leaning against mine. "I needed this."

I smiled back and leaned forward to kiss _his_ nose, imitating the way he would do it to me. He chuckled a little, returning the gesture, whispering one last _I love you, Kim. I love you so much, _before we lay back down, ready to end this day and start the rest of our lives together.

He fell asleep almost immediately, finally at peace as he held me close, his arms protectively wrapped around me like a security blanket. Who was securing who, I don't know.

As I lay there in his embrace, everything that had happened pieced together in my head, forming a clear picture of what the future would look like between the four of us. Two couples, four best friends. It was a picture of love and friendship and happiness. It was a picture of never being alone, or feeling out of place again.

It was then I realized the _escape_ I'd been aching for wasn't actually what I'd always imagined it to be. It wasn't a far away college, or physically running away from the confines of my life in La Push. It wasn't the moment I crossed the graduation line, or the day I left town. It wasn't even the act of _doing _anything or _going_ anywhere like I'd always thought.

It was _him._

It was _Jared_ himself.

_He_ was my escape.


End file.
